Prisoner's Dilemma

One of the things that I find most interesting about teaching is the way that I can be teaching a lesson with my mouth while having a concurrent yet distinct line of thinking running in my brain.  Maybe other public speakers don't experience this, but I often find that my mind wanders during my lectures.  (I'll bet my students would say the same!)

Earlier today, I was taking a group of 8th graders through the story recorded in Matthew's Gospel, Chapter 11, verses 2-6 - Now when John heard in prison about the deeds of the Christ, he sent word by his disciples and said to him, “Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?”  And Jesus answered them, “Go and tell John what you hear and see.  The blind receive their sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up, and the poor have good news preached to them.  And blessed is the one who is not offended by me.” 

I have taught this particular story as a part of my 8th grade Bible class for the last 7 years.  As I was making my usual comments about it today, however, I began to think...really think about the details of the story and their implications.  I was struck in a new way by the absurdity of John's question and the austerity of Jesus' response.  I found the entire episode to by intriguing and challenging in a manner I hadn't experienced before.  This really is a rather revealing and thought-provoking story that Matthew is sharing.  Below, I have included some of my questions and ideas as they have been whirling in my head throughout the day.

1.  In most cases, there is much more going on in the lives of those with whom we interact each day than what we can see.  To do a topical study of the Gospels on the life of John the Baptist is to study a man who appears to be rock-solid in his commitment to God.  Time and time again, John responds correctly when faced with the opportunity to take glory or prestige for himself.  Time and time again, John gives unshakable witness to the true character of Jesus of Nazareth.  From casual observation, it's easy for us to conclude that John had his life and his heart in perfect order before Jehovah.  After all, this is the man who stood at the river's edge and shamelessly proclaimed, "This is the Lamb of God!"  To conclude this about John is a gross miscalculation.  Even a man of such spiritual stature as this was, at times, held captive as a prisoner of his own doubts and questions.  Granted, his stumble came after nearly a year and a half of unwarranted imprisonment at the hands of an immoral dictator.  I think, however, the point should be well taken.  Everyone, and I mean everyone has their demons.  Everyone has their moments of darkness--including those whom we hold in highest esteem as spiritual leaders.  Perhaps some will find this to be a bit of a jaded or cynical observation.  Some, perhaps, are resistant to the idea of frank honesty among Christians about our weaknesses.  I don't agree.  I believe honesty and transparency to be needful, healthy, and biblical (see James 5:16).  I don't think we ought to become cynical at all.  I do think, however, that we should bear firmly in mind as individuals cross our path each day that many, maybe most, (should I say all?) of those we meet are facing battles that we may never see or know about.  Casting Crowns begins their song "Stained Glass Masquerade" with the question, "Is there anyone that fails?  Is there anyone that falls?"  The answer is--Yes!

2.  The moment when God transgresses the boundaries of our expectations and beliefs is a critical moment in the journey of faith.  Of course, I am referring here to those times when God exceeds our expectations in a way that we perceive as negative, wrong, or unjust.  I read John's question in these verses, and I am taken aback at the absurdity of it.  "Are you the One?"  How could John even ask such a thing after all he had seen and heard and said?  It's almost offensive that he would even wonder!  Of all people, John the Baptist ought to have known with certainty that Jesus was the One!  I pose the question to my students each year--What caused John to doubt?  Although the Bible does not specifically give us the answer, I think we can safely conclude.  Jesus' ministry was, in some way, failing to meet John's expectations.  Maybe John thought that Jesus would take a more aggressive approach in ushering in the Kingdom or that Jesus would have been more politically active in opposition to the Romans or maybe even that Jesus would break him out of prison.  Whatever his expectations were, it seems obvious that they weren't being met.  As he sat alone in the darkness of his prison cell, John faced an unsettling dilemma--Will I continue in my belief that Jesus is the Christ even though things aren't unfolding the way I thought they would?  This was indeed a critical moment for John.  The fact is, we all have self-made boxes into which we put God and His dealings with us.  We expect Him to do or not do certain things based on our devotion to Him.  The plethora of Christian literature and other Christian media available today serves mostly to feed these pre-conceived yet often unbiblical notions about our Creator.  How unsettling it is, then, for us to discover that the gulf between our perceptions of God and the reality of God is deep and wide.  The Apostle Peter told us not to be surprised when faced with trials, suffering, and persecution.  All believers will, at some point, face their own prisoner's dilemma.  God is much bigger and, in a way, much scarier than we often give Him credit for.  What we do when faced with the reality of God is of utmost importance in our pilgrimage.  Speaking of that, here is my final observation...

3.  We must allow our understanding of God to be molded by the reality He presents us.  John and Jesus were cousins.  I've always imagined them to be close friends--even before either one of them became famous.  They had a unique relationship, I believe.  This wasn't just anyone asking the question, it was John.  Bearing this in mind, it is a bit surprising to read the terseness of Jesus' response.  He simply pointed to the fact this His ministry was indeed a fulfillment of Messianic prophecy.  He closed with a mild rebuke, "Blessed is the one who does not stumble over me." (That's my paraphrase.)  That's it.  There's nothing more.  No personal touch.  No apparent effort on Jesus part to soothe the fears or calm the doubts of His friend and fellow-servant.  He left John with the decision as to whether or not he would believe in spite of the darkness around his soul.  I think the lesson here is clear--those who come to God must do so by faith (Hebrews 11:6).  This faith, however, must conform to reality as God presents it.  He does not conform reality to meet the requirements of our faith.  Despite what the books and movies portray, things don't always get better.  Bodies and minds aren't always healed.  Miracles don't always occur at the last moment.  Good doesn't always win.  (At least, in the short term!)  When we are left reeling with confusion and doubt, God stands firm, confident, and unchanging, "Blessed is the one who does not stumble over me."  What a concept to think that we can stumble over God!  This can and does happen, however, when we are unwilling to relinquish the idols we have created in the name of Jehovah.  This austere perspective of God may be repugnant to you.  You may not like the image of Him that I'm painting in these lines.  This, my friend, is exactly my point.  These truths are just as much a part of God as are His love and grace.  God is a complex and multifaceted being.  We have to take Him for what He is, not just for what we want Him to be.  No one relishes the suffering.  No one enjoys the darkness of doubt and pain.  Yet, as Jon Foreman, in his song "The Cure for Pain", so aptly puts it, "It would be a lie to run away."

What choice did John make in the face of such a dilemma?  We are not given a direct answer.  Yet, based on Jesus' statements about John in the following verses (see Matthew 11:7-15), I believe that John chose correctly.  He chose to believe in spite of everything.  This was not blind faith, but genuine faith.  Faith that persisted in spite of the emotion of the moment.  This is the kind of faith each one of us must beg God  to build in our hearts so as to prepare us for our own moment in prison.

Yours, Mine, or Ours?

One of our human idiosyncrasies is the fact that we are very territorial.  This tendency is quite obvious to me as a parent of young children.  Children 6 and under have a very specific and complicated set of unwritten rules about possession and ownership.  Nowhere are these rules more evident than in the quintessential cry of the toddler, "THAT'S MINE!"

As we grow older, we leave many of the tendencies of childhood behind.  Our possessiveness, however, is not one of them.  Comedian Brian Regan touches on this in his routine about a child losing his balloon. (Look for it on YouTube if you haven't seen it.)  Adults have their own set of rules about possession and ownership.  We just have the tactfulness to refrain from saying "THAT'S MINE!" out loud--most of the time.

Christians are no exception to the previous comments.  I was thinking today about how possessive believers (including the one typing this) can be at times.  Here are a few examples for you to chew on:

1.  The United States of America - as election season heats up, you can almost hear the Christians of our country chanting, "THAT'S MINE!"  Any candidate who includes ideas about reclaiming America for God or restoring America to her Christian heritage is bound to receive enthusiastic support from the Religious Right.  There appears to be an underlying assumption in American Evangelicalism that this country is ours and that we need to win it back from the Left.  This assumption is most often predicated upon the idea that our nation was founded upon the Bible and Christian principles.  Even if this notion is granted (which I don't think it should be categorically), the fact is, our nation was constituted in such a way that we don't really have the basis for claiming the US for Christianity at the expense of other religions and beliefs.  Like it or not, the atheist has just as much a right to believe and share his faith as the Baptist.  The same could be said for a variety of lifestyles and religious persuasions.  I understand the desire to promote righteousness and absolute truth.  I just don't feel that the courtroom, the legislative chamber, or the public school classroom is the appropriate venue for doing so.  Even if the Religious Right is somehow able to reclaim this nation the way they want to (which is doubtful), I think they may find it in the long run to be a Pyrrhic victory.

2.  Churches - I am becoming more and more convinced that one of the most detrimental developments in the ongoing saga of the church is the idea of dedicated church facilities.  Whereas the earliest Christians probably met in homes, the ensuing centuries have brought about the idea of sanctuaries and church property.  Many a congregation has been guilty of shouting, "THAT'S MINE!" with regard to these facilities.  It's kind of funny if you think about it.  Most church buildings sit empty and idle for all but maybe 9 or 10 hours out of the 168 in a week.  Isn't there a more efficient approach to the stewardship of our buildings and possessions to be found?  Could many of our churches find ways to put their facilities to  use outside of the grid of the traditional ideas?  I think the answer here is, "Yes!"  Personally, I like the idea of churches having a Gymnatorium or Multi-Purpose Room over the idea of a Sanctuary.  I think it helps us keep the right perspective about our facilities (and it's more doctrinally accurate--I Peter 2:5).  I remember a friend of mine from seminary talking about starting a church in a building that could be used as a restaurant during the week.  He would pastor the church and run the restaurant.  Although many believers might scoff at such an idea, I think he just might be onto something.

3.  God - Believing in a Higher Being is something inherent to our human nature.  Cultures and people groups throughout history have developed their individual ideas about God and religion.  These ideas about the Divine are as diverse as those who hold to them.  Over the last several years, I have come to recognize that many Christians are very possessive about God and will vehemently proclaim, "THAT'S MINE!" when confronted with ideas outside of the scope of their beliefs about Him.  This possessiveness manifests itself in two ways.  It comes out in the way we relate to people of other religions and beliefs.  I feel compelled to say that I am not advocating a relativistic, "all-roads-lead-to-heaven," "it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you are sincere" approach.  I do believe there to be only one way, one truth, and one life.  Anything outside the scope of this truth is not valid, no matter how heartily it is believed.  This, however, does not mean we as Christians have the prerogative to take the beliefs of others lightly or dismiss them with a cavalier attitude.  Many Christians do not understand the beliefs of others or the comfort others take from their beliefs about God.  We are very possessive and even arrogant about "our God."  Handling this idea with balance is a tricky proposition, to be sure.  The other way our possessiveness about God reveals itself is in how we relate to others who live under the big umbrella of Christendom.  By this, I am simply referring to those who believe in the God of the Bible, but hold differing views about some of the specifics of His workings and His word.  Again, I am not saying that any belief or teaching that comes down the pike is valid.  Some ideas about God are non-negotiable and mutually exclusive to other opposing ideas.  Yet, the fact remains that so much of the disagreement between denominations and segments in Christianity relates to the non-essentials of the faith.  The territorial immaturity that comes out in these debates is, for the most part, useless and unhealthy.  The longer I live, the more I am coming to see that God is so much bigger than the boxes we have created for Him.

To conclude, I think believers would do well to loosen their grip and evaluate how their possessiveness may be hindering their ability to shine in the darkness.  When all is said and done, "The earth is the Lord's and everything in it!" (Psalm 24:1)

What If?

Have you ever played the "What if?" game with yourself?  You know, it's when you run different scenarios through your mind and try to figure out what the result would be if things were different.  Usually, we play this game (or put ourselves through this torture, as the case may be) when looking backward to the past.  We are particularly prone to do this when looking back on something negative such as a personal failure or tragedy.  We wonder things like, "What if I had gotten there 5 minutes later?" or "What if I had gotten that text message sooner?"  It's natural to do this, although I don't know that it is particularly healthy.

Lately, I have been playing the "What if?" game in the other direction.  I have been trying to figure out what the results would be in the future if things were different now.  Specifically, I have been pondering my Christian walk and my relationship to God and those around me.  As I have been growing in grace over the last months and years, I find myself wondering how our homes, our churches, our communities, our nation, and our world would be different if Christians thought differently and acted differently.  I am not claiming to know all of the problems and/or solutions of modern Christianity.  I am just wondering..."What if?"  Several ideas have come to mind.  Many of them are based on specific passages of scripture.  Some of them are just my own conjecture and theory.  All of them, at the very least, are interesting to think about and ponder...

So, I am going to do my best John Lennon impression and ask you to imagine.  Imagine what it would be like.  Imagine how our lives might be different.  Imagine how our impact on the world might increase.  Imagine how much more glory and honor God might receive. (It's easy if you try.)

What if...

We were truly convinced that God Himself is the highest and greatest good to which mankind can aspire?

We lived on a daily basis in full recognition of and appreciation for the finished work of Christ in our lives?

We viewed every person around us (friend or foe, believer or not) as a soul created by God in His image and infused with value and worth?

We allowed our brothers and sisters in Christ the freedom to be themselves in their walk with Christ?

We reached the conclusion that there are relatively few things in the scope of Christianity for which it is worth separating from other Christians?

We stopped trying to produce spiritual fruit (in ourselves or in others) through external, artificial means and started allowing Christ to live His life out through us?

We stopped viewing our nation as a battlefield to be conquered through political activism and radical separatism and started viewing it as a mission field to be lived in and exposed to the power of God's love in the Gospel?

We began to believe that every perfect gift is from God and that, for a Christian, there is no such thing as sacred or secular?

We stopped trying to define our spirituality in terms of all that we do or don't do?

We related to others the way God relates to us?

We all were honest with ourselves and others about how dark our hearts really are?

We truly understood that God views each Christian through the lens of Christ and that His love and acceptance for us are completely independent of our actions?

We came to accept that grace really is as good as it sounds?

What if?

Can you imagine?

Why I Love Working With Teenagers

I just arrived home several hours ago from our annual Back-to-School Retreat.  At South Merrimack Christian Academy, we call this 3-day event RENEW.  Although I have enjoyed the previous two retreats that I have attended with this school, I felt (for many reasons) as if there was an especially powerful spirit amongst those students and faculty who were there this year.  After spending these days with 70 high-schoolers, I was reflecting during my drive home.  (I had plenty of time to reflect because I was driving the luggage van and, consequently, my only companions were duffel bags and guitar cases.)  I was reflecting on how much I enjoy working with teenagers.

I have worked with teenagers in some capacity ever since I was one.  I must admit I don't always enjoy working with teenagers, but, for the most part, I relish the opportunities I have been given over the last decade or so.  As I and my silent van-mates flew down I-93 this afternoon, I enumerated in my mind several reasons why I enjoy these young adults with whom I spend most of my time and for whom I expend most of my energy.  As I thought of teens, four words came to my mind:

1. Energetic - Speaking of expending energy, I am thoroughly sore and exhausted as I type this.  I spent the better part of yesterday afternoon careening down an extra-large Slip n' Slide on my stomach or skipping across the waters of Newfound Lake at 30 mph on a motor-boat propelled tube.  Literally, I could have gone to bed at 7 o'clock and been asleep within 5 minutes.  I didn't have the chance to do that, however, because I had to go sit in a bush for 15 minutes so we could play "Capture the Counselor" after the evening session.  Indeed, working with teens is a tiring exercise because of the exorbitant amounts of energy they seem to have.  This, however, is not a bad thing. It actually makes teenagers endearing.   I can't prove this scientifically, but I think exposing myself to their energy may actually reverse the effects of aging in my own life.

2. Curious - One thing that I have discovered as a Bible teacher is that teens have questions.  Usually, they have lots of questions.  Many times, they have very deep, penetrating, and thought-provoking questions.  Although they may not be as curious as your typical five year old, teenagers usually haven't grown up so much that they don't still have that innate thirst for knowledge.  I love this about them, because I haven't yet grown up so much that I don't still thirst for answers.  One of the things about their curiosity that has been so amazing to me is the fact that God has used it to further my own growth in grace.  I try to learn as much from the teens as they do from me.  I think this is a nifty little arrangement.

3. Potential - I count it a real privilege to be able to play a moderately significant role in the lives of young people as they reach their Junior and Senior years of high school.  It is truly exciting to witness the beginning of their adult lives as they prepare to graduate and move on to "what's next."  The thing that is so cool is the diversity of talents and personalities that I find in the students.  It's fun to picture how they will be able to use their gifts to impact their world.  I can only imagine that it's all the more fun to look back and actually see how they've impacted their world.  I anticipate this eagerly as I continue logging in years as a teacher.

4. Genuine - As someone who is learning the value of true genuineness, I have to say that this is one of my favorite things about teens.  Although there are exceptions, of course, I really believe that teenagers (especially the teenagers of the current generation) are some of the most genuine, un-hypocritical people you can find.  For the most part, teens haven't learned the finely-nuanced art of "putting on airs."  What you see is what you get.  I find this quality to be very compelling.  Even when "what you see" is disheveled, undisciplined, or just plain odd, it's refreshing to work with people who don't really know how to play the "Good Christian Game."  This quality is also very convicting, because I am discovering that I have to be just as genuine with them in order to have any hope of having a lasting impact on their soul.

Someone asked me yesterday when I was groaning from the Slip n' Slide-induced pain in my ribs if it was worth it.  I replied, "If it allows the kids to see me as a real person who enjoys being with them and is genuinely interested in their life, then, yeah--it's worth it."  I'm not completely sure if sliding or tubing or hiding in the bushes shows the teenagers all of those things, but I can honestly say...It's worth it and I love it! (Most of the time! :-)

What The Promise Is For

The following post is based upon a testimony I gave at the beginning of my Sunday School lesson to the Young Marrieds Class at our church on June 5, 2011--my 31st birthday and the 7th anniversary of my marriage to Danielle. I received several bits of positive feedback about the testimony, and so I thought it might be helpful and encouraging to those of you out there in the blogosphere.

Every time we drive out to visit my in-laws in Francestown, New Hampshire (which is about once a month or so), we drive right past the white church building where Danielle and I were married on June 5, 2004. As we pass that 200-year old building with our 3 children in the back of our Honda Pilot, I almost always think back to that Saturday morning when my bride and I exchanged vows.

In the months approaching our 7th anniversary, I thought quite a bit about that day. In particular, my thought patterns about my marriage went something like this:

"If someone had asked me in the weeks before I got married to describe my expectations about marriage in one word, I wonder what I would have said?" (My thought patterns tend to be quite specific at times.)

As I pondered this question, several possible answers sprang to mind:

Love?

Companionship?

Adventure?

Sex?

Acceptance?

Romance?

Commitment?

I put the question mark after each because I am not really sure what answer I would have given. Honestly, as much as I was looking forward to getting married, I don't think I really knew what to expect. I just knew I wanted to be married.

I may not know what I would have said in answer to the preceding question, but I am quite confident about one thing I would not have said. There is one word I most certainly would not have used to describe my expectations about marriage at that point in my life. Do you want to know what that one word is?

Difficult

In the entire scope of my thinking as I was preparing to marry the love of my life, I never really thought of marriage as being difficult, hard, or even exhausting. Now, please understand this--Danielle and I did all of the things good, Christian engaged couples are supposed to do before they get married. We read the books about preparing for marriage. We talked about finances, family, and conflict resolution. We participated in the obligatory pre-marital counseling. We tried to prepare ourselves for the fact that the honeymoon would eventually end and that the reality of day to day life would set in. I thought I knew what I was getting into, but the truth is--I didn't have a clue. I had no idea how hard it is to be married and to form a family. That is not to say that I regret marrying Danielle and forming a family with her. I wouldn't go back and change anything even if I could. Sometimes, I look at her and I still can't believe that she agreed to be my wife. Sometimes, it does still seem like a fairy-tale. None of that changes the fact, however, that marriage is, at times, just plain difficult.

I realize now that I did not realize this then. (Did that sentence even make sense?) To some extent, I don't think I could have really understood beforehand the pressures of the crucible of marriage. It's like going to Disney World. People can tell you what it's like, but you really have to go there yourself to truly understand. The same is true with marriage. People can tell you it's hard, but...

Until you've had to face the reality of having more bills and needs than money, you don't understand.

Until you've walked into a room and had your wife sobbingly tell you that she's had a miscarriage, you can't know what it's like.

Until you've felt the subtle hand of lust trying to pull you apart from your spouse, you can't really identify.

Until you've had a loved one snatched violently and unexpectedly away, leaving both of you reeling, you can't empathize.

Until you've experienced how beautiful, amazing, fun, frustrating, exhausting, and stressful children can be, you don't really know.

Until you've felt as if your marriage has been "hijacked" by your kids, your job, and your life...

Until you've laid in bed feeling hundreds of miles apart from someone whose is only 3 feet away...

Until you've asked yourself, "Can I do this anymore?" or even "Do I want to do this anymore?"...

You can't really see how difficult marriage can be.

(By the way, I don't want to sound as if I am complaining. I understand that many couples have traversed waters much deeper and situations much more painful than we have. We have been very blessed in our seven years together. I am simply pointing out some of the difficulties that have surprised me personally along the way.)

About two months ago, someone gave me a CD called "Counting Stars" by a Christian singer-songwriter name Andrew Peterson. I had never heard of him, but I always enjoy discovering new music so I gave the CD a spin. Track number 2 on that disc changed my life. The song is titled "Dancing in the Minefields." Andrew wrote the song to his wife. In it, he talks about how their marriage has been "harder than they dreamed." When I first heard that, I teared up thinking, "So I am not the only one who has felt that way!" Then Mr. Peterson includes a line that shot straight into my heart and soul. He says, "But I believe that's what the promise is for."

I heard those words, and I realized something after 7 years of marriage that I had never really understood before. (Forgive me--I can be quite oblivious at times.) Why do we make vows at our weddings? Why do we include words like "for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse"? We say those things, not because we're all going to be rich, healthy, and happy all the time. We say those things because there will be times of poverty, times of sickness, times of unrest and unhappiness. That's what the promise is for--it's for the times when marriage is hard and exhausting. The key to navigating the "minefield" is to hold fast to that promise and refuse, by the grace of God, to give up. That was something I needed to hear after a very difficult 6-month stretch in our marriage. It changed my perspective dramatically.

With all this in mind, I decided to put together a short video using the song and some pictures. I would like to include it at the end of this lengthy post in the hope that it will encourage you as it has encouraged me.

I would also like to dedicate it to my wife, Danielle. She daily reflects the love and grace of God to me, and I love her dearly. "Sweetheart, I am in it for the long haul! :-)"

To the rest of you reading, I echo the words of the backup singers on the song...

"Don't give up!"