I was thinking about the book and its ideas yesterday and it occurred to me that those who read the book may not experience the same level of success with its principles as the author (or in this case, authors) did. In fact, it is likely that many readers will not. This is not in anyway meant to denigrate the authors or their ideas. I'm simply recognizing the fact that the authors have personalities that are well-suited to approach the issue of "spiritual small talk" according to the methods in their book--obviously. They are, after all, the ones who had the ideas in the first place! Not everyone who reads this book (and I think many Christians should) will have personalities that are as well-suited for the type of conversations described in its pages. In their defense, the authors do not in any way market their book as a fool-proof method for personal evangelism nor do they make any ridiculous guarantees of success for those who buy and read a copy. Their approach is very conversational and easy-going in tone. However, my reading of the book and the thought-process it sparked do raise a point that I feel needs to be made.
There is a very common and very costly mistake that we as Christians make within the Christian community we know as the church (both in its universal and local manifestations). I can best summarize this mistake by quoting from none other than...myself. Several months ago, I placed the following sentence as a status on my Facebook page, "Andrew Doan has been wondering lately--if a person in our cultural context (21st century America) lived the Christian life exactly the way God meant it to be lived, what would it look like?" The question sprang out of a frustration at trying to sort through all of the advice we as Christians are inundated with through preachers, podcasts, and Christian book distributors. Everyone seems to have the principle to make it all work or the standard of success to which we all should aspire. For some time now I have been attempting to sift through the pulp and get to the genuine heart of Christianity--as the tag line of this blog indicates. While there is nothing wrong with this search itself, I (along with many others) are making a mistake when we assume that two individuals (or 2,000 for that matter) living the Christian life "the way it was meant to be lived" will manifest this in exactly the same way. It is a mistake to assume that "spirituality" (although I don't really like that term) will look exactly the same for each Christian. In fact, I would submit that it will not look exactly the same in any two individuals because no two individuals are exactly the same. We know that we are all different, but I fear that we forget this basic fact when it comes to determining a person's level of spiritual dedication. (Which, by the way, is something that is very difficult to do without sinning.) To put it simply, many of us as believers confuse spirituality with personality. This often occurs when we listen to a pastor, speaker, author, or other "Christian celebrity." We take the specific manifestations of their walk with God as it exhibits itself through their personality, and we assume that we, if we are going to be truly spiritual, must look and act the same way. I just don't believe that is true. Furthermore, I think it can be frustrating and unhealthy to try living this brand of "Mockingbird Christianity." I think that because I have tried it and found it to be frustrating and unhealthy.
What does God list as the true marks of spirituality? I can think of no better answer than the fruit of the Spirit as it is listed in Galatians 5. These attributes, as I understand them, are the natural outgrowth of a Christian who is walking in the Spirit and abiding in Christ moment by moment. The fruit of the Spirit is true spirituality. However, even these 9 items will not necessarily look the same in each person who exhibits them. Not everyone expresses love, joy, peace, etc...in exactly the same way. This is a simple concept that we all can understand. Yet, when we are told (or believe) that "good Christians will do such and such or act in such and such a way or fit a certain mold," we are ignoring one of the basic characteristics of our humanity as God created it--diversity. To assume that all good Christians will look and act the same is just as foolish as assuming that all evil people will look and act the same. Look at the fruits of the flesh that are listed just prior to the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5. Is it realistic to assume that every person who is angry or lustful or drunk or envious or a murderer will exhibit these vices in the same fashion? What if I were to preach that those who are "truly carnal" will look and act very much like an Adolf Hitler or a Ted Bundy? That is an outrageous and untrue statement, and that is why I typed it. I hope it causes you to think about the danger of confusing spirituality with personality.
My point is this--I think we need to allow people the freedom to express their individuality without questioning their spiritual dedication or commitment to Christ. As a teacher, I have been guilty of judging teenagers in this way many times, and it is wrong. To live a life that is in direct opposition to God's way and God's word is one thing. To walk with Christ according to the "beat of your own drum" is another. The first is sin. The second is...well, I guess I can say it's spirituality.
Just some thoughts for your consideration and comment if you feel so inclined.
As a brief appendix to this post, I would like to list several areas of our Christian walk where we tend to confuse spirituality with personality. Feel free to add more as you think of them...
1) Personal Evangelism/Witnessing - not everyone is the tract-passing, door-knocking, street-preaching type of person. Yet, to hear some talk, that is the only way truly spiritual Christians go about sharing their faith.
2) Corporate Worship - not everyone is the hand-raising, glory-shouting, amen-saying type of person. Someone (like myself) can be a bit a more reserved and private about their worship and still truly engage in this important activity.
3) Confession of Sin - not everyone is the chest-beating, tear-shedding, sackcloth-wearing type of person. Psalm 51:17 makes it clear that it is the condition of a person's heart attitude and not the external show of contrition that God is looking for.
One last thought--I am not saying that these personality-driven manifestations of spirituality are wrong. On the contrary, I think every Christian should live true to God and true to themselves at the same time. What I am saying is that a lack of similar manifestations should not be considered probable cause for a lack of sincerity or genuineness as a believer.
Okay...now I am done.
Andrew, lots of good ideas here. I can't remember if the stat made it into our book, but Barna published last year that few Christian leaders judge spiritual maturity based on the Fruit of the Spirit. It is more based on church attendance, Bible-reading, moral behavior. What is depressing is that those polled also said they were satisfied with their spiritual maturity. Yes, they were satisfied by the wrong thing, like thinking candy is the judge of healthy food and people being satisfied with their healthy food intake.
ReplyDeleteThat we each let one another live within our personalities is deeply important. I'm glad you brought it up. This is what "appropriately human" is all about. We are designed to be ourselves. And we must be careful, as you noted, that we aren't cramming people into boxes that don't fit them, including an understanding that Jesus had a personality that none all of us have. And to require others to be like Jesus in ways that we cannot is a disservice.
I'd love to hear a sociological study of the kinds of personalities that are drawn to different kinds of religious groups. And, not only personalities, but character qualities. For example, pentacostal churches seem to have an abundance of one kind of personality group. And I've long observed that my fundamentalist background draw the same kind of black/white, fearful people as many cultists I've spoken too. I think many Baptists, doctrine aside, could feel as comfortable as JWs or Mormons, simply because they all promise similar safety and a controllable doctrinal-life. But the less controllable and definable "Fruit of the Spirit" tend to be off the radar for growth unless rigid rules and assimilation can go along with it.
As for our book, I have to tell you that in the world of conversation, as an introvert, I've had to work very hard at it. Nothing in our book has been easy to come by (that it may appear easy to me may speak more of God's grace than anything else). Rather, much has been hard-won and worked out as I got over fears and learned to get into other people's shoes with love.
Jonalyn is much more skilled at conversation but she will admit that coming to conversation without agenda is a very difficult thing for her... yet a deeply important principle in our book.
I'm glad you pointed out that we don't think people should follow our technique. In fact, we are, by design, technique-less. We do think there are virtues to conversations and then let each person adapt to the virtues, like the fruit of the spirit, using what God has given us and tailoring our tools and character to those we love on the way.
Dale,
ReplyDeleteYou did include that stat from Barna in the book, and I agree with you that it is quite discouraging to hear. I am also reminded of the section in the book where you talk about the young man who thought he had to be Jesus in order to be a good Christian. I wanted to reference that illustration in my post, but it was already too long so I nixed it. In my opinion, "WWJD?" has never been a very helpful question.
Thanks for mentioning the fact that you had to really work at conversing. I guess I did sort of make the assumption that the scenarios described in the book just came naturally to you and Jonalyn. It raises another good point. Although we shouldn't be afraid to demonstrate our personality in our Christian walk, we also shouldn't allow our idiosyncrasies to lock us into a "comfort zone" and prevent us from expanding our horizons. Point well taken, and I stand corrected.
Several sections of the book have sparked some other ideas in my mind that I would like to bounce off you sometime. Later, perhaps...
Thank you for your thoughts Andrew. I agree with them largely and have found over the years that books/systems like "The Purpose-Driven Life", "Changed into His Image", and more recently Piper's "Desiring God" etc. bank (literally) on making a type of name-brand or franchised approach to what the Christian life "should" be. It reminds me of the changeability of the high-fashion industry...the more seasonal changes, the more money generated sheerly from the rate of change when the old is out of style and the "new" is suddenly so desirable (when actually it's not that new really, and some is near blasphemous relative to the character of God as represented in the Bible). Personally, I think the success of these types of ideas/speakers/books lies more in their effect of pulling on naive believers' sense of emotion/guilt or herd-mentality (to use a sociological term referencing the innate desire to fit in with the crowd or go with the flow) than any true or deep form of spirituality.
ReplyDeleteTraveling widely, or visiting nearby with people of different social class or heritage, or learning how to reach others across cultures can have a very purifying/refining impact on one's sense of what true Christianity is and what principles constitute true spirituality as the "American" brand of Christianity is challenged (I definitely agree with the Fruit of the Spirit scale).
Sharing with believers of other cultures/backgrounds can be immensely rewarding in this respect.
There is also a drive in some folks to validate themselves through what they feel is "originality" or bucking the norm by just "being different" socially or sub-culturally. This isn't any closer to true spirituality in my opinion as the motivation is still sociological or psychological rather than spiritual...and it usually mimics some part of the secular and non-spiritual (at least I've found).
Other areas where personality might add diversity in the Christian walk include prayer/meditation, music, vocation or style of practicing that vocation. Areas I believe are not defendable due to "personality differences" are those areas strongly evidenced in the Bible as unwise and sinful e.g. excess drinking/luxury/inactivity, neglecting the poor and needy, worldly living/sexual impurity/neglect of worship....etc.
-Rachel W.
@Andrew, thanks for your gracious reply. For sure our idiosyncrasies can get in the way and that we have to challenge where they come from: are we built that way or is it a fruit of our parenting/culture/wounds? That's the rub. If we're a shy person, we shouldn't have to become extroverts, unless, of ocurse our shyness is from unhealth. Yet, regardless of our personalities there is no doubt that Jesus calls us to love. So whatever love looks like from a healthy version of ourselves, that's what we're to do. This is something we are very much about: appropriate humanness means we are learning to become ourselves under Jesus' tutelage. Coffee Shop works toward that end.
ReplyDelete@Rachel, it is a little unfortunate Coffee Shop was the spring board for this discussion as it can give the impression that it fits into the personality driven/purpose driven/popularity cookie-cutter movements.
I agree with everything you've said and so does Coffee Shop Conversations which goes outside the current paradigm of cookie-cutter Christianity and into the realm of letting people be themselves and letting Jesus meet them there and shape them there. Cross-cultural discussion is part of our conversations, getting into other people's shoes and allowing people to be unconvinced by us. Based on what you wrote here, I think you'd very much like the book and find it a catalyst to change the culture of evangelicals into something more robust, creative, thoughtful, loving, and savvy.
"Inundation" is a great word for how all of the advice feels at times. I'm always having to call myself away from other men's (super-attractive) ministry models and "come back home" to where God has called me. The greatest works are done by men who walk before the Lord first. That's where the best books come from, I think. We can read those books, but in a sense we must be writing our own before the Lord.
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