The (Other) Final Word in the Modesty Debate

In part 1 of this article, I postulated some postulates (what else would a person postulate?) about the so-called "Modesty Debate."  Summarily speaking, I tried to argue that the Biblical expectation for women/girls in their clothing choices deals primarily with their attitude and motive although I Timothy 2:9 does create a basic standard for the clothes themselves.  The good ol' ESV renders this standard as "respectable clothing."  At that point in the article, both my brain and my fingers were reaching the point of exhaustion so I stopped typing.

After a week, both my brain and my fingers feel sufficiently rested to continue.  Actually, I am really excited about this part of the post because it will allow me to speak about an area in which I am a genuine, qualified, first-rate expert--my own opinion.  I am also excited because submitting my own opinion prohibits anyone from disagreeing with me or trying to dissuade me because I can just say, "Well, you have your opinion and I have mine."  (Note - Although the previous sentence was included primarily for humorous purposes, I do have a less lighthearted reason for including it.  I think individuals engaged in the so-called "Modesty Debate" do need to realize that much of the conversation on both sides is opinion because the Bible does not give a great deal of specific prescription for New Testament believers in this area.  At least, in my opinion, it does not.)  So, with no further ado, I will now continue...(Wait, I just thought of one more piece of ado.  I want to include a warning.  Warning - I am planning on speaking fairly frankly (though not explicitly or inappropriately) about certain aspects of this issue in the paragraphs below.  Please don't be mad at me when you get to those parts.  I told you they were coming!)  Okay, now there is no further ado...

Section Two - My Personal Opinions about Various Aspects of the So-Called "Modesty Debate"

For what it's worth, here's what I think about...

1.  The definition of "respectable clothing" - As I said earlier, the only specific Biblical guideline I have thus far been able to identify for the actual clothes a New Testament era woman/girl wears is that they be "respectable."  (By the way, I see no reason why this same word shouldn't apply to men's/boy's clothing as well.)  This, of course, begs the question, "What makes for respectable clothing?"  Ah!  Therein (as they say) lies the rub!  For being a specific guideline, this mandate isn't really all that specific.  I find it noteworthy that God did not further define/explain what He meant by "respectable."  He certainly could have done so, but...He didn't.  I believe His reason for doing so is two-fold.  First, God expects each Christian to think through, pray, and consider for themselves what "respectable clothing" looks like.  Second, God knows that the specific look of "respectable clothing" will vary and change according to the culture.  I know that this second idea will make some of my readers uncomfortable, but I just don't see how one can ignore the fact that clothing (like several areas of the Christian experience) is very much dependent on cultural contexts.  The ambiguity of God's dress code is actually a testimony to the brilliance with which God designed Christianity because it makes it timeless and borderless.  God giving very specific guidelines for clothing choices would be a lot like buying a new computer or cell phone--in a matter of time it will be outdated and obsolete.  By limiting His expectation to our clothes being "respectable," God has allowed both 1st century believers and 21st century believers to adhere to the guideline despite the fact that clothing styles are vastly different between the two.

All of that leads me to to say this--we should choose clothing that is, within the larger scope of culture, generally considered to be "respectable."  That is--will most people using common sense who see us consider our clothes to be appropriate and respectable?  Undoubtedly, there are some styles that even the general culture understands to be provocative or inappropriate.  Believers shouldn't wear these.  Outside of those, however, I believe that the circle which includes "respectable clothing" is a pretty big circle encompassing a variety of different looks--including looks that might be considered more conservative or more liberal.  To put it bluntly, I think that, as long as our private parts are covered, we have a great deal of freedom when it comes to how long, how high, how loose, and how whatever our clothes are.  "Respectable" is a big concept, and anyone who tries to define it more narrowly than God is overstepping their bounds, in my opinion.

There is another idea that often creeps its way into the discussion, and so I would like to expend my last bit of mental dexterity for the day on that topic...

2.  The responsibility of women/girls to protect men from lusting after their bodies - As the so-called "Modesty Debate" rages on, those who take the more conservative approach (Please note above where I said there is plenty of room in the "Respectable Circle" for those who want to dress more conservatively) often support their specific dress preferences and (sometimes) seek to force them upon others by appealing to a woman's responsibility to protect the men around her from lusting after her body.  This, in their way of thinking, is accomplished by dressing conservatively.  Although there is no verse that specifically states this responsibility, it is true that there is a fairly well-developed Biblical concept that believers should not create situations that they know will most-likely cause other believers to sin.  I have no problem with the statement that women/girls should never dress in a way that they know will cause the males around them to lust and commit adultery in their hearts.  My problem with this line of thinking centers around the assumptions that often accompany it.  There is an assumption that all men are leering, lust-driven maniacs who cannot control their gaze or their thoughts.  While it may be true in general that men are primarily stimulated by sight, this does not necessarily mean that every guy around is a slave to his lust.  Many men have learned how to see a woman and appreciate the beauty of her respectfully-dressed body without lusting or committing heart-adultery.  Some will say, "What about those who haven't learned to do this?  What about the leering, lust-driven maniacs out there?  Shouldn't we try to help them out?"  This reasoning reveals another assumption, namely, that women have it in their power to prevent a man from lusting after their bodies by dressing more conservatively.  This simply is not true.  Writing transparently and seriously as a man for whom lust has been and is an ongoing battle, I have to speak frankly to the women who are reading this.  It doesn't matter if you are covered from head to toe.  If I am in the grip of lust at any given moment (please notice the if at the beginning of this sentence), I have the capability to inappropriately gaze at you and objectify parts of your body.  Unless you are dressed in a rectangular cardboard box, I can look at your clothes (as long and loose as they might be) and focus lustfully on your chest, your legs, your backside, your lips, your hair, or any other part I want to.  This is not your fault, it's mine.  If I am in the grip of flesh rather than Spirit, my lust might have nothing to do with your clothes at all but rather the simple fact that God created a woman's body with the shape and look that He did.  For me to expect you to stem the tide of my depravity by your clothing choices is an unrealistic expectation and a grievous burden to place on your shoulders.  For you to believe that you can stem the tide of my depravity by your clothing choices is a well-meaning, but utterly misguided thought.

"Should not women do their due diligence to make it easier for men to resist their lust?" some might ask.  Of course they should.  This is accomplished by choosing clothing that is "respectable."  (See point number 1 above.)  Beyond that, however, I just don't think that women/girls have the responsibility or the power in relation to men's eyes and thoughts that some would have us believe.  As with most things in the Christian experience, it comes down to an internal heart issue for the man rather than external influences.

And with that, I will complete my contribution to the so-called "Modesty Debate" and thereby wrap up the discussion for believers worldwide so that we can all move on to other points of debate/disagreement like politics, music, or Santa Claus.

Thank you for reading all the way to the end.

Testiphony

"We want to be a good testimony."

This is something that has been emphasized to me for most of my life as a member of the Christian sub-culture. It is something that parents, preachers, teachers, mentors, family, and friends have said to me more times than I can count. It is something that I have said to myself more times than I can count. It is one of the standard tenets of my brand of American Christianity that is inculcated into our thinking with relentless zeal. As Christians, one of our main duties is to be a good testimony to unbelievers around us.

My purpose here is not to disagree with the preceding statement. In fact, I earnestly concur with it. There is no shortage of verses that clearly indicate that we are to shine as lights against the backdrop of darkness in the world around us. My purpose in these few paragraphs is instead to ask, "How are we to do this?" or more specifically, "What does a 'good testimony' really look like?" As always, what follows are simply my thoughts and opinions and are subject to disagreement and/or dialogue as you see fit. After all, I could be wrong.

Let me frame my comments around two primary theses:

1. To most Christians, a "good testimony" comprises two things--word-of-mouth Gospel sharing and Christian living.

2. Our traditional views of Christian living as the basis for a "good testimony" may need some refinement.

Concerning the first statement...

I believe these words to be true because that is how the concept of a "good testimony" has been presented to me for most of my 30 years. Beyond that, however, I think it is true because the Bible supports the idea. What tools do we have at our disposal to fulfill Christ's command to "make disciples of all nations"? We have our words and our actions, of course. We can verbally share the truths of the Gospel with the unsaved, and we can live our lives in such a way that unbelievers "see our good works and glorify our Father which is in heaven." (Matt 5:16) On this, I believe most Christians would agree.

How can we best put these two tools to our advantage in reaching the lost? Ah! That is where the Christian consensus is lost. Obviously, there are many prevailing theories out there about how to best present the gospel verbally to someone. For the time being, I am choosing to skirt those particular discussions. I want to focus on how we can present the Gospel non-verbally through our everyday lives. What is the best way to "be a good testimony?" That, my friend, is the question, and it leads us to the second of my opening propositions.

Concerning the second statement...

For starters, I should probably define what I mean by "traditional views of Christian living." I have to say, this is the point of discussion that was the catalyst for this post. Some recent conversations with fellow Christians prompted me to begin wondering. As I thought about it, it occurred to me that the traditional view of a "good testimony" revolves primarily around what we do or don't do as Christians. "We go to church 3 times a week." "We don't have wild parties at our house." "We wear (or don't wear) a certain style of clothing." In the minds of many, these things (and others like them) are a good testimony to the unsaved. That is what has been preached and practiced in many churches for many years.

I am not here to suggest that this preaching or the thinking behind it is wrong. I am not saying unequivocally that these things aren't a good testimony. I am simply wondering if the conventional wisdom is true that says unequivocally that they are a good testimony always and without exception . I wonder if some of our Christian badges of honor that we wear so proudly before an unbelieving world are really accomplishing the good that we think they are. Yes, the Bible refers to the world seeing our "good works" and glorifying God, but that verse seems to be predicated upon the unbelievers recognizing the works as "good." What if they don't see our "good works" as being particularly good? What happens to our good testimony then? We get frustrated because our unsaved friends and family don't accept Christ, and our unsaved friends and family get frustrated because we distance ourselves from them through all of our do's and don'ts. We appear to think and act as though we are better than them. Our "testi-mony" becomes more of a "testi-phony." I have had several opportunities in the last year or so to talk to unsaved friends and family, and that idea of "Christian elitism" appears to be a commonly-held opinion among them.

Let me mention two examples. Consistent church attendance is something that many Christians would include in their "Good Testimony Resume." This can, at times, be true. It may not always be true, however. Not every unbeliever looks at a Christian who attends services habitually and says, "Wow! I want what they have!" To them, it's just some religious thing that you do similar to the way Muslims pray or Catholics confess. It doesn't necessarily draw them to Christ. I am not suggesting that we stop attending church faithfully. I am suggesting that we open our eyes and realize that church attendance alone is not guaranteed to shine as a light to your unsaved neighbor. We need more than just that. I am also suggesting that you consider the possibility that there may be times when forgoing attendance at a service may actually provide you with a better opportunity to be a "good testimony" than stubbornly insisting that you have to be in your pew.

Here is a second example. Many Christians (including me) have refused to attend a family function, work party, or other social event because of the fact that certain "worldly" elements would be present (alcohol, rock music, dancing, smoking, etc...). Our refusal to attend demonstrates our devotion to our faith and shines brightly as a testimony to the lost--or so the traditional thinking goes. Now, I realize that this is a tricky example because there are any number of contingencies that create any number of possibilities as to what a Christian ought to do or not do. (Translation--there is no "cookie-cutter" answer.) I do think, however, that we might need to reevaluate the maxim that says, "Don't drink, smoke, or chew or run with those who do." The Pharisees in Jesus' day were very good at this, but the spiritual impact they had on their world was nothing we would want to emulate. I fear that many unbelievers view our lack of attendance (notice I did not say lack of participation) as nothing more than religious snobbery. Perhaps, instead of relying on not going at all to serve as a good testimony, we should consider the possibility of going for the purpose of being a good testimony. There are many ramifications of this, I know, but I don't think it hurts to at least consider it.

Those are just two examples of many that could be given. In conclusion, let me just say that I think it is a bit lazy and a bit naive to rely upon our separation from the world as our primary means of reaching it. We must use our words and our lives to preach the Gospel to every creature. Perhaps it is time we took stock of how we can best use our lives to shine as a glowing testimony for Christ. Remember, Jesus didn't pray that God would take us out of the world, but that God would keep and protect us while we are in it (John 17:15). Maybe all of us could stand to get a little more "in the world" and be a good testimony while we are there.

Ashamed (Read the whole post before you comment)

Well, it happened again. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does I really, really don't like it. It is not an emotion I enjoy having--shame. That is, however, the only word to describe it. Let me explain.

I am not exactly what you would call a news junkie. I catch the local evening news every once and a while, and I try to read a few headlines on the Internet when I can, but I don't really keep up with all the goings on. In recent weeks, I remember hearing something about someone burning Korans somewhere, but I really didn't give it much attention--until this last Friday morning. I was watching the morning news shows and nearly all of them were highlighting the story of Reverend Terry Jones from Gainesville, Florida. As I crunched on my Wheat Chex, listened to the talking heads on the screen, and saw the images (including signs from Jones' church that said "Islam is of the Devil" and "Burn a Koran Day"), I felt it in the pit of my stomach. I have to say, at that moment, sitting in my living room, I was ashamed to be a Christian. I know that sounds extreme, but that is the truth. Let me clarify. I was not ashamed of Christ or my faith in Him as my savior. I was not ashamed of the Bible or even the fact that I attend church regularly. I was ashamed to be known as a Christian because of how I saw that word being represented on the screen before me. I sat there and wondered how any good for the cause of Christ could come from either Rev. Jones' demands that the mosque be moved or his threats to burn copies of the Islamic scriptures. As I walked to work that morning, I thought, "If that is what people will think of when they hear that I am a Christian, I am not so sure that I want to be known as a Christian." I was...ashamed.

This is not the only time I have felt this. In recent years, I have found myself wanting to be more and more disassociated with the American Christian sub-culture. When I hear about things like Rev. Jones and his Koran-burning, I feel ashamed. When I read on the Internet about a church in Kansas that protests the funerals of soldiers in the name of God, I feel ashamed. When I hear of churches whose greatest badge of honor is their fight against Contemporary Christian Music or women wearing pants or the use of certain English translations, I feel ashamed. When I see churches and the people in them investing such time, effort, and money into winning culture wars like the gay marriage issue or the teaching of evolution in public schools, I feel ashamed. (Not because I support gay marriage or the teaching of evolution, but because I think that approach misses the point.) When I hear of families where the father no longer attends church because of the way he has been treated by some autocratic pastor, I feel ashamed. When I hear the stories of young people who have rejected their godly heritage and upbringing because of a graceless, legalistic approach to the Christian walk, I feel ashamed. When I watch a film like Lord Save Us from Your Followers and see what most Americans think it means to be a Christian, I feel ashamed...and sometimes I even feel angry.

But then, I start thinking about myself and my life. That is when the tables begin to turn. When I think of all the times I have failed my Lord and my family, I feel ashamed. When I think of all the times I have been prejudiced, proud, or arrogant in my beliefs, I feel ashamed. When I think of every instance when I have allowed lust to rule my mind or my eyes, I feel ashamed. When I think of all the impatience, laziness, selfishness, anger, materialism, and every other vice that has worked its way into my heart, I feel...ashamed and discouraged.

Then I remember. All of us who claim the name of Christ as our banner (including the Rev. Joneses of the world) are just broken, frail, fallen, confused, and scared sinners who have been rescued by the grace and mercy of a loving and patient Father. All of us have shortcomings. All of us bring our own unique set of baggage to the cross, and carry it with us as we make our pilgrimage through this life. All of us have failed and will do so again in the future. All of us as Christians are mere humans and are subject to the frailties of being such.

So then...I pray. I look to God and ask for His help. "God, help me to be what you want me to be, so that I can show those around me what it truly means to be a follower of Christ. Mold my thinking and my conscience to conform to your way and your logic. Teach me what it means to know you and to walk with you in every moment of life. Produce in me and through me the fruit that you desire to see. Help me, God. I cannot live as a true Christian on my own. I know that one day I will see you face to face and give account for the life I have been given by you. Do in me today what you must so that, on that day, I won't have to feel...ashamed."