How to Have an Opinion

The advent and development of the Internet as we know it today has irrevocably revolutionized our world.

I begin with this rather obvious statement because I want you to consider its truth.  The Internet HAS revolutionized our world in countless ways--some good, some bad, some neutral, and some that can go either way.  I want you to stew with me on one of those "it could go either way" ideas for a moment.

One can find many things on the Internet.  In recent months, I have come across something that is almost as ubiquitous on the Internet as the selfie and that might even be connected to the selfie in some Freudian, sub-conscious sort of way.  I am referring to opinions.  There is no shortage of opinions to be found on the web.  One can find them in the tweets, posts, articles, and comments of the smartest and most celebrated among us, in those of your "average Joe" and, more often than not, in the online ramblings of someone simply referred to as "anonymous."  Opinion is alive, well, and circulating freely on the fiber optic cables that make up our virtual landscape.  The "information superhighway" (remember when it was called that?) has provided just about any person on earth with the capability to voice their opinion and make it available for anyone else to consider. (Take this blog as a case in point.)  This may be a good thing.  Or, it may be a really, really bad thing.

Consider this.

What one cannot find quite as easily on the Internet as opinions is respect, courtesy, deference, and genuine, healthy dialogue or debate about those opinions.  Many of the opinions offered online are structured and promoted in such a way that they create strife, resentment, and isolation.  They are a platform for aggrandizement of self and belittlement of others.  They degenerate into a rhetorical game of chicken rather than serving as a sincere search for truth.  I stand among the accused on this particular point.  I have never had much difficulty offering my opinion--particularly behind the shield of a computer screen.  Unfortunately, I have crossed the proverbial line on several occasions--even to the point of losing friends in the Facebook sense of the word.  It strikes me that most people don't need to be taught to form opinions.  We seem to be hardwired to do so.  I wonder, however, if we could all use some lessons/reminders about how to have our opinions.  That is--about how to hold them and about how to offer them for others to consider.

To that end, I would like to offer some basic guidelines.  These are, of course, just my opinion, so please take them as such.

1.  Remember the source and progression of opinions.

Whenever I watch a movie that deals with racial inequality and bigotry, I end up asking myself the same, penetrating question, "What would I have believed and how would I have acted if I lived in the 1860's or even the 1960's?"  Of course, I want to believe that I would have been enlightened and progressive in my thinking.  I want to believe that I would never have succumbed to the ugliness of racism.  I am haunted by the fact, however, that it is probable, had I been born several decades or more earlier than I was, that I would have adhered to the racial creeds of the day.  That is, I probably would have been a bigot.  This is just a simple calculation based on the color of my skin and the social status of my family tree.  I don't like that thought, but I cannot categorically deny it either.

My point is that our systems of belief (our opinions) are, to a significant extent, the product of our cultural context--our upbringing, our social status, our circle of friends, etc...  Of course, everyone wants to believe that their opinions are well-grounded, logically sound, and devoid of any sentimental attachment.  We want to believe that we believe what we believe because it is the truth.  In some cases, this is an accurate assessment.  In many cases, however, we believe what we believe for reasons that are far less pristine and rational.  This doesn't necessarily mean your beliefs are wrong.  It does mean that it is incumbent upon all of us to remember the source of our opinions and of those we encounter.  Everyone has a story, and opinions are intricately intertwined in the details of that story as it unfolds.

Speaking of unfolding stories, it is also essential to remember that opinions are like bodies.  They grow, mature, strengthen, weaken, and change dramatically over the years.  You haven't always thought the way you think now, and you probably won't think exactly the same way in 20 years that you do now.  (At least, I hope you don't.)  We all would do well to remember this in our interactions with others and their ideas.

2.  Remember to separate the opinion from the one holding it.

This may sound contradictory to my first point.  I just got through telling you to remember that our opinions are closely aligned with who we are.  This is true.  It is also true, however, that we must evaluate the veracity of an opinion based on the merits of the opinion itself and not based on the person who is offering it.  To put this another way--if something is true, it is true regardless of who says it or supports it.  Once again, we all want to believe that we disagree with someone else because they are wrong.  Could it be, however, that sometimes we disagree with them because we just don't like them?  There are few things in life that are more irritating than when someone we consider to be from "the other side" offers an idea that makes logical sense and adds up in our mind.  It is difficult to admit it when our nemesis is right, but this we must do.

I believe that many followers of Jesus and right-wing conservatives encounter this difficulty in discussions of politics.  "Obama Bashing" has become quite fashionable in these circles, and I see it nearly every day on my Facebook feed.  I will concede the point that many of his policies and decisions (in my opinion) are unwise and counter-productive.  I don't like his politics.  I do not believe, however, that "everything that man says is a lie" or that every action his administration has taken or will take is wrong.  Is the right side of the field (or the left for that matter) intellectually honest enough to admit that even a broken clock is right twice a day?  (Although according to comedian Stephen Wright scientists are working on a broken clock that is right three times a day.)

3.  Remember that there is a right way to be right.

I am finding myself becoming more distant from and disillusioned by professional sports.  My concern is not with the talent or level of play in our professional leagues.  In many sports, these are at the highest level they have ever been.  My concern is that I am seeing far less grace and sportsmanship than I used to.  (That makes me sound so old!)  Even my beloved game of college basketball seems to have slipped into the mire of arrogant chest-thumping and trash-talking.  I don't like it.  I don't like it at all.  I'm not sure that the old adage is true that says, "It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game that matters."  No, I believe it is important to play to win, but even in your pursuit of victory and excellence, I believe it is essential to win honorably and gracefully.  I just don't see a lot of this on ESPN these days.

In our online or in-person discussions, let us all remember that you can be right but in a way that is wrong.  Strive for grace and sportsmanship when you spar with others in the comments section of your favorite blog or virtual water cooler.  Spirited debate should not and does not preclude the possibility of civility and respect.  Play to win, but win with style.

4.  Remember to admit the possibility that you might be wrong.

Of all the opinions I am offering in this article, this is the one that I fear may elicit the most disagreement.  Personally, I believe it is essential in any conflict of ideas (no matter how major) to admit and accept the possibility (however slim it may be) that you might be on the wrong side.  I am not implying that one should harbor doubts about her position.  I am not asserting that one should hold his beliefs weakly or in a perpetual state of flux.  I am not proposing a relativistic, post-modern ideal in which every opinion is equally true.  That, of course, is preposterous.  In just about any debate, there is a wrong side and a right side.  (Although the point should be made that it is foolish to make the reductionist "either-or" error.  Many of us need to open ourselves to the possibility of "both-and" in many of our discussions.)

What I am saying is that it is critical for us as fallen, finite beings to admit at least the possibility that we might be wrong.  Why is it critical?  Because, the fact is, we might be wrong.  If one gets to a point where they feel that at least some of their opinions are infallible, that person has placed himself in a position of stunted growth--both personally and relationally.  The opportunity for productive, healthy dialogue evaporates the moment someone says, "I am right and there is no possibility otherwise!"  Personally, I make a habit of disengaging with anyone who cannot admit the possibility of error in a certain opinion.  Why waste my time or theirs?  It's pointless to move any further in the discussion.

I think this is especially important for my fellow followers of Jesus to consider.  The fact that I believe the Bible to be infallible does not imply that I as a student of the Bible am also infallible.  Yet, this is exactly how Christians often come across to each other and to those outside our faith.  Remember that it is our faith not our knowledge that forms the basis of our religious system and our relationship with God.  I don't know that God is not dead.  I don't know that heaven is for real.  I don't know that Jesus is alive.  I believe each of those things, but I don't know them.  For the record, I feel that my belief is well-founded, but it is still only belief.  The atheists, the Hindus, or anyone else might be right.  I might be wrong.  To deny this possibility is to deny the nature of our worldview and to exclude the possibility of connecting with and genuinely impacting those who don't share our beliefs.

So...

The next time you begin to launch into an online tirade about your favorite soap-box topic, will you take a moment to consider the ideas I've offered here?  I hope that you will.  I believe there is much truth to what I've said in these paragraphs.

But I might be wrong...

3 Things I Will Never Give My Children

In previous posts, I have intentionally used misleading titles to lure web surfers into reading my content.  As I begin this post, it occurs to me that my title today may evoke certain ideas in my readers about my content that are inaccurate.  I am not intentionally trying to be misleading so let me clarify right from the outset.  This is not an article about vaccinations, violent video games, or genetically modified food (Sorry, I couldn't think of another "V" word).  Those are things I might not give my children, but they are not my focus here.  The three items on my list today are not bad things.  On the contrary, they are actually quite good things.  The reason I will never give these things to my children is not because I won't by choice but because I can't by nature.  As the holiday and gift-giving season is wrapping up, I have been thinking about and spending a lot of time with my kids.  It has occurred to me that there are several items I would love to give them as a parent but I simply cannot.  I submit them here for your consideration:

1.  True Happiness - Some people are adverse to the idea of giving gifts at Christmas time because they resent the commercialization of what is supposed to be a spiritual celebration.  I can certainly understand their sentiments.  For our family, however, we view Christmas as an excellent opportunity to celebrate and reflect the goodness of God's gifts to us by giving gifts to others.  Thus, we buy Christmas gifts for our kids.  We certainly aren't extravagant, but we try to get each child several gifts including one "WOW" gift that will really surprise them.  This year was no exception.  In the days following our Christmas morning gift extravaganza, I have realized that the danger is not in the gifts we give our children but in the message we send to them.  My kids are still at the stage where they believe their possessions will make them happy.  (Truthfully, their parents still grapple with this lie as well.)  One of the challenges my wife and I face in our gift-giving is to help our children understand that the one present we cannot give them is contentment and true happiness.  They will have to find this for themselves, and they will not find it in a box or on a shelf somewhere.  Our job is to point them in the right direction and to reflect true happiness to them as we have found it ourselves.

2.  A Baggage-Free, Damage-Free Childhood - The Friday after Christmas, something occurred in my life that I have dreaded and feared for at least two years.  I dropped my iPad on a tile floor and irreparably cracked the glass on the multi-touch screen.  This may sound childish and materialistic (it probably is), but I almost started crying when I saw the damage.  Now, before you condemn my reaction as a selfish, first-world problem let me explain two things.  First, the iPad is not technically mine as it was purchased by my employer and I use it primarily for work purposes.  Second, it is really important to me to have a few things in my life that I keep in really nice, almost-new condition.  Having three young children makes this endeavor difficult, as you can imagine.  The iPad was one of those things that I really tried to protect and keep nice.  (For those who are wondering, the other ones also start with the letter "i".)  When I dropped the device, it bothered me because it was now damaged goods.  It still works just fine.  It does what I need it to do, although reading through a spider-web shaped crack gets annoying at times.  It just bothered me to have something that was less-than-perfect.

As parents of young children, my wife and I are trying our best to be thoughtful, careful, prayerful, and intentional as we guide our children to adulthood.  We refuse certain vaccinations (but not all).  We don't allow them to play violent video games.  We try to avoid most genetically-modified foods.  We attempt to be balanced, loving, and gracious while still being firm, consistent, and authoritative.  We try to allow them to be themselves while still confronting their depravity and pointing them to the Savior.  In short, we are trying our best to provide them with a baggage-free, damage-free childhood experience.  This is an admirable intention on our part, but I have reached the conclusion that it is an unattainable goal.  Despite our best intentions, my three kids will have mental/emotional/spiritual baggage through which they have to work as adults.  Much like my iPad, they will have cracks, dings, and dents in their lives.  Some of this will come from Danielle and me.  Some of it will come from other sources.  Either way, we have to understand that we cannot keep our kids in that new, out-of-the-box condition forever.  They will get damaged, but this is part of what makes our life-journeys so amazing.  God is an expert in working with cracked pots.

3.  Their Convictions, Beliefs, and Values - A few nights ago, my wife and I went on an impromptu trip to Longhorn Steakhouse for dinner.  During the course of the meal, we began having one of those New Year-type of discussions where we were evaluating how we are doing as parents and how we ought to change for the better.  We wrote down a list of values that we want to instill in our children.  The list included items like true spirituality, perseverance, an open/curious mind, gratitude, love for God, respect for others, creativity, etc...  As we made the list, we looked at each other and acknowledged the inconvenient truth that, despite our concerted efforts, there is no guarantee that our children will have or maintain these things throughout their adult life (Proverbs 22:6 notwithstanding).  The truth is, we cannot give any of these things to them.  We can simply model them to our kids through our own lives and emphasize them through the way we conduct our family life.  Beyond that, our only recourse is to pray and trust the hand of their Heavenly Father.

Coming to this understanding about our role as parents and the limitations of that role has actually been quite refreshing.  I fear that too many parents put far too much pressure on themselves as they bring up their kids.  Please don't misunderstand, parenting is by far one of the hardest (to date) and one of the most important tasks I have ever undertaken.  We, however, have found it helpful and healthy to consider the exact nature of our role as our kids' parents and to come to grips with what we can and cannot do for them or give to them.  Right now, the word that I feel best describes our job is the word influence.  I am sure that word has some shortcomings and baggage with it, but it resonates with me and gives me a framework for my parenting as we enter another year in this adventure called life.  Perhaps some of the thoughts I have shared here will prove helpful for you or someone you know.

The (Other) Final Word in the Modesty Debate

In part 1 of this article, I postulated some postulates (what else would a person postulate?) about the so-called "Modesty Debate."  Summarily speaking, I tried to argue that the Biblical expectation for women/girls in their clothing choices deals primarily with their attitude and motive although I Timothy 2:9 does create a basic standard for the clothes themselves.  The good ol' ESV renders this standard as "respectable clothing."  At that point in the article, both my brain and my fingers were reaching the point of exhaustion so I stopped typing.

After a week, both my brain and my fingers feel sufficiently rested to continue.  Actually, I am really excited about this part of the post because it will allow me to speak about an area in which I am a genuine, qualified, first-rate expert--my own opinion.  I am also excited because submitting my own opinion prohibits anyone from disagreeing with me or trying to dissuade me because I can just say, "Well, you have your opinion and I have mine."  (Note - Although the previous sentence was included primarily for humorous purposes, I do have a less lighthearted reason for including it.  I think individuals engaged in the so-called "Modesty Debate" do need to realize that much of the conversation on both sides is opinion because the Bible does not give a great deal of specific prescription for New Testament believers in this area.  At least, in my opinion, it does not.)  So, with no further ado, I will now continue...(Wait, I just thought of one more piece of ado.  I want to include a warning.  Warning - I am planning on speaking fairly frankly (though not explicitly or inappropriately) about certain aspects of this issue in the paragraphs below.  Please don't be mad at me when you get to those parts.  I told you they were coming!)  Okay, now there is no further ado...

Section Two - My Personal Opinions about Various Aspects of the So-Called "Modesty Debate"

For what it's worth, here's what I think about...

1.  The definition of "respectable clothing" - As I said earlier, the only specific Biblical guideline I have thus far been able to identify for the actual clothes a New Testament era woman/girl wears is that they be "respectable."  (By the way, I see no reason why this same word shouldn't apply to men's/boy's clothing as well.)  This, of course, begs the question, "What makes for respectable clothing?"  Ah!  Therein (as they say) lies the rub!  For being a specific guideline, this mandate isn't really all that specific.  I find it noteworthy that God did not further define/explain what He meant by "respectable."  He certainly could have done so, but...He didn't.  I believe His reason for doing so is two-fold.  First, God expects each Christian to think through, pray, and consider for themselves what "respectable clothing" looks like.  Second, God knows that the specific look of "respectable clothing" will vary and change according to the culture.  I know that this second idea will make some of my readers uncomfortable, but I just don't see how one can ignore the fact that clothing (like several areas of the Christian experience) is very much dependent on cultural contexts.  The ambiguity of God's dress code is actually a testimony to the brilliance with which God designed Christianity because it makes it timeless and borderless.  God giving very specific guidelines for clothing choices would be a lot like buying a new computer or cell phone--in a matter of time it will be outdated and obsolete.  By limiting His expectation to our clothes being "respectable," God has allowed both 1st century believers and 21st century believers to adhere to the guideline despite the fact that clothing styles are vastly different between the two.

All of that leads me to to say this--we should choose clothing that is, within the larger scope of culture, generally considered to be "respectable."  That is--will most people using common sense who see us consider our clothes to be appropriate and respectable?  Undoubtedly, there are some styles that even the general culture understands to be provocative or inappropriate.  Believers shouldn't wear these.  Outside of those, however, I believe that the circle which includes "respectable clothing" is a pretty big circle encompassing a variety of different looks--including looks that might be considered more conservative or more liberal.  To put it bluntly, I think that, as long as our private parts are covered, we have a great deal of freedom when it comes to how long, how high, how loose, and how whatever our clothes are.  "Respectable" is a big concept, and anyone who tries to define it more narrowly than God is overstepping their bounds, in my opinion.

There is another idea that often creeps its way into the discussion, and so I would like to expend my last bit of mental dexterity for the day on that topic...

2.  The responsibility of women/girls to protect men from lusting after their bodies - As the so-called "Modesty Debate" rages on, those who take the more conservative approach (Please note above where I said there is plenty of room in the "Respectable Circle" for those who want to dress more conservatively) often support their specific dress preferences and (sometimes) seek to force them upon others by appealing to a woman's responsibility to protect the men around her from lusting after her body.  This, in their way of thinking, is accomplished by dressing conservatively.  Although there is no verse that specifically states this responsibility, it is true that there is a fairly well-developed Biblical concept that believers should not create situations that they know will most-likely cause other believers to sin.  I have no problem with the statement that women/girls should never dress in a way that they know will cause the males around them to lust and commit adultery in their hearts.  My problem with this line of thinking centers around the assumptions that often accompany it.  There is an assumption that all men are leering, lust-driven maniacs who cannot control their gaze or their thoughts.  While it may be true in general that men are primarily stimulated by sight, this does not necessarily mean that every guy around is a slave to his lust.  Many men have learned how to see a woman and appreciate the beauty of her respectfully-dressed body without lusting or committing heart-adultery.  Some will say, "What about those who haven't learned to do this?  What about the leering, lust-driven maniacs out there?  Shouldn't we try to help them out?"  This reasoning reveals another assumption, namely, that women have it in their power to prevent a man from lusting after their bodies by dressing more conservatively.  This simply is not true.  Writing transparently and seriously as a man for whom lust has been and is an ongoing battle, I have to speak frankly to the women who are reading this.  It doesn't matter if you are covered from head to toe.  If I am in the grip of lust at any given moment (please notice the if at the beginning of this sentence), I have the capability to inappropriately gaze at you and objectify parts of your body.  Unless you are dressed in a rectangular cardboard box, I can look at your clothes (as long and loose as they might be) and focus lustfully on your chest, your legs, your backside, your lips, your hair, or any other part I want to.  This is not your fault, it's mine.  If I am in the grip of flesh rather than Spirit, my lust might have nothing to do with your clothes at all but rather the simple fact that God created a woman's body with the shape and look that He did.  For me to expect you to stem the tide of my depravity by your clothing choices is an unrealistic expectation and a grievous burden to place on your shoulders.  For you to believe that you can stem the tide of my depravity by your clothing choices is a well-meaning, but utterly misguided thought.

"Should not women do their due diligence to make it easier for men to resist their lust?" some might ask.  Of course they should.  This is accomplished by choosing clothing that is "respectable."  (See point number 1 above.)  Beyond that, however, I just don't think that women/girls have the responsibility or the power in relation to men's eyes and thoughts that some would have us believe.  As with most things in the Christian experience, it comes down to an internal heart issue for the man rather than external influences.

And with that, I will complete my contribution to the so-called "Modesty Debate" and thereby wrap up the discussion for believers worldwide so that we can all move on to other points of debate/disagreement like politics, music, or Santa Claus.

Thank you for reading all the way to the end.

The Final Word in the Modesty Debate

During this past summer (2013), I began to notice an emerging trend on my Facebook feed.  In addition to the usual fare of rants against Obamacare, coupon posts, sports team trash talking, and pictures of people's dogs and/or foot injuries, I saw an increasing number of links to blog articles with the word "modesty" in the title.  These articles usually discussed an issue that is (in certain smaller segments of American Evangelicalism) a hot topic--girls' and women's clothing choices.  Having read many of these articles and the accompanying arguments being waged in the comments sections of said articles, I decided to sit down and articulate the final word in the so-called "Modesty Debate."  I figure that, if no one else is willing to settle this issue once and for all, I might as well go ahead and get it done.

The last two sentences were written with my tongue in my cheek.  Obviously, I do not have the market cornered on the modesty debate, and I am certainly not one who is qualified to settle the arguments.  I will freely admit that I chose the title of this article for the sole purpose of catching your attention and surreptitiously inducing you to read what I have to say.  So far, my ploy appears to have worked in light of the fact that you have read all the way to this point.  In reality, my intent in this article is far less ambitious than my title would have you believe.  I would simply like to offer my own two cents about this issue.  I will accomplish this by dividing my comments into two sections.  Read them and do with them what you will.

Section One - My Personal Interpretation of the Biblical Guidelines for Women's Clothing

Ignoring for the time being the fact that discussions about modesty and dress choices almost always omit any mention of boys'/men's clothing, I would like to tell you what I believe the Bible teaches about girls'/women's clothing.  This is also what I plan on teaching my children (my daughter in particular) about this area.  I will be forthright with you, Reader, and admit that I have not spent a great deal of time studying the issue in all of its intricate nuances.  I have, however, done a fair amount of marinating on the passage in I Timothy 2:9-10, as this seems to me to be the primary passage in which God has given clear instructions about female clothing choices.  Many will argue with me and assert that the Bible contains a great deal more instruction about clothing, but I am always a bit wary when someone has to resort to an obscure, context-stripped verse in Hezekiah 45:11 for support.  (Yes, I know that there is no such verse as Hezekiah 45:11.  Everyone knows there's only 44 chapters in that book.)  Based on my marination on the passage in I Timothy, I have formulated the following 4 principles about female clothing choices:

1.  God's expectations in this area appear to focus far more on the heart attitude of the wearer than they do the specific clothing styles that the wearer chooses.  Even the passage in I Peter 3:3-4 (which is the other location in which we find mention of female clothing choices) puts the focus squarely on the inward rather than the external.  God's primary concern seems to be the attitude behind and the motive with which a woman wears her clothes.  One of the aspects of the I Timothy passage that I was quite surprised to discover is the fact that the idea of modesty is more accurately applied to the attitude of the wearer than it is to the clothes themselves.  In other words, it's not necessarily the clothes that should be modest but the person wearing them.  Certain Bible versions seem to be the culprits in propagating the semantical misconception that clothes themselves can be modest in the sense of humble and meek.  The ESV translates the clothing guideline as "respectable apparel" with the accompanying attitude of modesty and self-control.  To be sure, God did make a statement about the clothes themselves, and I will say more about that farther down the page.  At this point, however, I would simply like to point out that the majority of what God says about the issue deals with an inward state of the soul rather than a particular guideline about style.  It seems to me that our teaching on this topic should reflect that emphasis as well.

2.  There is nothing inherently wrong about a girl/woman dressing in a way that flatters and beautifies the body God has given her.  One of the bothersome (to me at least) aspects of the numerous modesty articles I have read recently is the implicit declaration to girls/women that their body is something to be hidden, camouflaged, or even ashamed of because of its alleged power over the male mind.  The female body is a powerful image and presence, to be sure.  (More on that later.)  I do not, however, subscribe to the notion that this power requires a woman to stifle the inherent physical beauty God has given to her or to limit the flattering/beautification process to only those parts of her body above her neck or below her knee (or ankle in some circles).  I find it revealing (almost no pun intended) that I Timothy 2:8 actually instructs women to adorn themselves.  This word does not simply mean to clothe.  It carries the idea of "decorating" or "beautifying."  In my mind, this seems to imply that there is nothing wrong with wearing clothing that flatters a girl's body and enhances her natural beauty.  I Peter 3 makes it clear that this adornment should not be exclusively external (refer to point 1 above for more details), but I do not believe God has prohibited girls/women from wearing styles that accentuate and decorate their bodies.  I do believe there is an appropriate and inappropriate way to do that, but I am going to save those thoughts for my big finish down in point number 4.  Before we get to that, however, let me present number 3...

3.  If, as I have posited above, modesty is an internal heart issue, then a woman who does not have this attitude is not fulfilling the requirements of the verse, regardless of what she is or isn't wearing.  This, in my moderately humble opinion, is where many a well-meaning follower of Jesus has missed the proverbial boat.  In some circles of American Evangelicalism an assumption is firmly entrenched in the minds of moms, dads, youth pastors, youth pastor's wives, and Christian school principals that their girls are just plain better off with "safer" or "higher" dress standards.  A girl's heart may be as far from modest as you can get, but at least her necklines and hemlines are appropriate.  If I am understanding Paul's inspired instructions in I Timothy correctly, then it is accurate for me to say that it doesn't really matter what clothes a woman is wearing or not wearing.  If her spirit is not one of "modesty" and "self-control", then she is not in adherence to the Biblical standard.  Dress codes certainly have their place in various contexts, but it is time to stop assuming that adherence to a dress code somehow puts a girl in a better place spiritually even though her soul is far from being spiritually healthy.  Even as some of you are reading those sentences the word "But..." is forming on your lips so I will hasten on to my finale...

4.  There is a standard of respectability and appropriateness for female clothing choices. If a girl does not meet this requirement, she is out of harmony with God's expectations, regardless of what her attitude and motive might be.  This, in my moderately humble opinion, is where many a well-meaning follower of Jesus has missed the proverbial boat. (Yes, I intentionally chose to repeat the same sentence I used in number 3, and I did it for dramatic effect.)  One of the problems that I have sensed in the comments and writings of those who argue against the "modest clothing" approach is the implicit idea that it doesn't really matter what a girl is wearing as long as her heart is modest and her intention is pure.  I do not agree.  Let us not forget that God did issue an instruction in the I Timothy passage about the clothes themselves.  The standard is listed in the ESV as "respectable apparel."  This implies that there exists in this universe styles we can call "un-respectable or unacceptable apparel."   If I am understanding Paul's inspired instructions in I Timothy correctly (Yup, I did it again.), then it is accurate for me to say that it doesn't really matter what a girl/woman's attitude or motive is.  If her clothes can be deemed to be inappropriate or lacking in respectability, then she is not in adherence to the Biblical standard.  Now, the crux of the issue comes when we ask the question, "What should be considered respectable clothing?"  You may not be surprised to discover that I have some ideas about that.  However, it has taken me a lot longer to type this much than I thought it would, so I think I will save those ideas and the rest of Section 2 for a follow-up post in a few days...

Please be honest but kind in any comments you may choose to submit...

(Read part 2 of this article by clicking here.)

Raising a Rebel

"Evelyn, don't keep your eyes crossed like that.  If you do they will stay that way."

I am in the kitchen cleaning up after lunch on a lazy Saturday afternoon when I hear my seven-year old son issue this admonition to his younger sister.

"Eldan, what did you just say?"

"I told Evelyn not to keep her eyes crossed or they will get stuck that way."

"Where did you hear that?"

"Everyone at school says it."

Oh boy.  Here we go.

I knew this day would eventually come, but I will have to admit--I didn't necessarily expect it this soon in the parenting process and I definitely didn't expect it to come in the form of such an inane old wives-fable.  (I guess I am a bit naive.)  Now that it's here, however, I can see the advantages.  He's young and impressionable.  He hasn't yet passed the "my dad is my hero" stage of his elementary years.  He will probably give me more of a fair hearing now than at any given time in the next 20 years.  Plus, it's such an innocuous topic that it may provide the perfect case study for him to consider his personal ontological leanings.

So...as I continue putting the clean pots in the cupboard and the dirty ones in the dishwasher, I decide to engage...

"Just because everybody says it doesn't mean it's true."

"Yeah, but you're the only one I know of who says it isn't true."

"Well, it doesn't really matter what people say.  Do you have any proof?  Have you ever met anyone who kept their eyes crossed and they stayed that way?"

"No."

"So you don't really know if it's true, do you?"

"But everyone says it is."

"So?  You can't believe things just because lots of people say it.  Lots of people might be wrong.  You have to look for proof.  Bring me some proof that keeping your eyes crossed will freeze them that way and then we'll talk.  Without the proof, you have to admit that it might not be true."

"Yeah, but it might be true."

"Yeah, but it might be false, too."

And so it begins...

In a way, I am really excited.  The process is beginning.  (In truth, it has been underway since they day they were born.)  This is the way we are going to raise our children.  I want them to question.  I want them to challenge.  I want them to examine the issues (whether it is crossed eyes or same-sex marriage) and to base their decisions and beliefs on the fact that they are convinced in mind and conscience that something is true.  I don't want them to take what any human says--whether it is a preacher, teacher, politician, or parent--at face value.  Of course, there will be times (probably many) when they will have to temporarily submit their opinions and choices to me, my wife, or some other authority figure in the interest of honor and obedience, but I don't want either of those interests to become so overpowering that it causes them to lose their God-given ability and responsibility to think for themselves.  This lunch-time discussion was just the first of what I hope will be many opportunities I have to challenge my children's status-quo and push them to think.  Like they say--it isn't illegal yet.

But, in a way, I am also scared.  The process has begun in earnest.  The process of raising a child to become an adult--a responsible, thoughtful, opinionated, conviction-driven, truth-seeking adult.  By encouraging my kids to question, consider, and challenge, I realize that I am also creating a situation in which they might reach different conclusions than I.  These differing conclusions may come in areas of very little significance such as crossed-eyes or reading in the dark.  They may also come in areas of incalculable significance such as their view of God and themselves.  I know that I may have begun the process of raising a rebel who will reject the moral absolutes that we have been trying to calmly and consistently inculcate into their fiber from day one.  I know.  I know.  Questions can be dangerous.  Debate can be dangerous.  I know--and it scares me a little bit.  Okay, it scares me a lot of bit.

But my fear of my children reaching different conclusions than I cannot be allowed to overcome my desire (and the need) for them to reach conclusions--on their own.  In the end, I don't want them to agree with me because I say so.  I don't want them to believe what I believe because I believe it.  I want them to believe because they believe it.  I am fully aware that the process of reaching their own answers may lead them through some dangerous waters, but I have full confidence in the power of God and His truth to help them find their way.

So, for now, I'll just keep putting the dishes away and issuing my challenges...

"Show me some proof, Eldan.  It might not be true."

"Yeah, but it might be."

Oh, boy!  Here we go!

God help us...

You Don't Know What You're Missing, Part II

"Have you ever eaten at Morton's Steakhouse?"
"No."
"Oh!  Well let me tell you, you don't know what you are missing!  It's fantastic!"


Have you ever taken part in a conversation like this one?  Most of us probably have at some point.  We use phrases like "You don't know what you're missing!" to try to convince the person to whom we are talking that they really are missing something great.  It's kind of a funny thing to say if you think about it.  If it is true that they really don't know what they are missing, telling them this doesn't really accomplish much.  The only way to induce them to try Morton's Steakhouse (or whatever the subject at hand may be) is to somehow get them to recognize and appreciate the greatness of which they have been ignorant up to that point.


This, in essence, is the idea we considered in Part I of this post.  The only way that the Pharisees and Jewish religious leaders of Jesus' day would have called so adamantly for His execution was the fact that they did not recognize or appreciate the truth of which they were ignorant, namely, that Jesus is the Jewish Messiah.  All things being equal, this was a truth that the Pharisees could have and should have known.  (I understand and agree completely with the idea that their actions were part of God's bigger plan of redemption and that the crucifixion for which they called was an essential component of God's will for Jesus.  I do not believe, however, that this excludes them from culpability for missing and refusing the Christ.)  The warning sounds out to all believers--Well-meaning and well-studied individuals can miss important truths without even realizing it.  (The warning becomes even more appropriate when you consider the fact that even Jesus' own disciples did not understand the full-scope of His Messianic position until after His earthly sojourn--see Luke 24:13-35.)


As stated in the previous post, the key to avoiding such costly oversights is to honestly and regularly ask the question, "What are we missing and where are we missing it in Christianity?"  (Perhaps it would be even more beneficial to phrase the question in 1st person.)  Either way, it is the starting point in a journey of reflection, evaluation, and discovery which every believer needs to take.


Before beginning that journey, however, I feel strongly that there are two preliminary ideas you must consider:


Your Motive - Questioning and evaluating your own beliefs, the beliefs of your church, or even the beliefs of Christianity at large is a dangerous thing.  At least, that is what many a believer will tell you.  Looking for genuine is often denigrated as simply "rocking the boat," "opening up a can of worms," or "throwing the baby out with the bathwater." (How's that for a trio of metaphors?)  In many circles, questioning established traditions and beliefs is frowned upon (particularly by those in positions of authority) because it often results in reformulation (or even outright rejection) of ideas and traditions long held by the masses.  Change is something of which many people are afraid--particularly in the realm of religious doctrine and practice.


Armed with this understanding of people's nervousness about a questioning spirit, it is critical for you as the questioner to examine and purify your motives.  Don't begin this process with the idea of becoming some rouge iconoclast bent on demolishing anything that even hints of being "traditional" or "old-school thinking."  The point is not to prove that everything we have ever believed or been taught is wrong and must be changed.  This is how many people perceive those of us who raise questions.  Let's do all we can to change that perception.  The purpose in this process is not to act as a proof-reader, armed with a red-pen, bent on finding and highlighting every minute mistake we can find.  Rather, we are trying to serve as investigators or inspectors who honestly evaluate all that "comes down the line"--approving what is good and exposing what is not. (See Ephesians 5:10-11 and I Thessalonians 5:21)  In short, your motive should not be to cause trouble but to find truth.  Personally, I believe that much of what I have been taught is true and correct.  That does not, however, preclude the possibility that I and those around me are missing some key ideas.


Your Weaknesses - If we come back to the story of the Pharisees and the disciples for a moment, we can see it's obvious they did not know what they were missing.  The deeper issue emerges, however, when we ask the question, "Why didn't they know what they were missing?" or "How could they miss something so important (and so obvious, I might add)?"  The fact is, several forces were at work in their lives that were contributing to their ignorance.  A necessary prerequisite to beginning your own journey of evaluation is to determine if and how these same weaknesses may be influencing your ability to see the truth.  Here is a short list of some of the contributing factors to the spiritual and religious miscalculation of the Pharisees.  How many are applicable to you?


1.  Pride - one of the primary reasons the Pharisees never accepted Jesus as Messiah or even considered the possibility that He might be so was their stubborn pride.  Even in the face of clear, conclusive evidence and persuasion (including one of their own--Nicodemus--challenging them to at least give Jesus a chance), the Pharisees' arrogance and foolish stubbornness would not allow them to open their eyes.  Pride blinds and pride hardens.  Very few vices have as negative an impact on the human soul as pride, and very few forms of pride are as hard to unseat as religious pride.


2.  Cultural Conditioning - I use the term "culture" here in a very broad sense.  Your "culture" can refer to everything from the region in which you live to the type of church you attend to the family in which you were born and reared.  All of these (and more) strongly influence the way we think.  In the case of the Pharisees and the disciples, Jesus' failed to fit in the box into which the prevailing culture of the day taught them the Messiah would fit.  Jesus didn't meet their expectations as Messiah--plain and simple.  Rather than reevaluate their inherited belief system (as I am suggesting we do), they simply dismissed Jesus as a fake.  Cultural conditioning is very hard to detect and even harder to eliminate, but we must do both when the truth breaks the mold by which we have been formed.


3.  Inaccurate Interpretation of Scripture - I fully believe that many Pharisees in those days could have given you scriptural reasons for rejecting Jesus of Nazareth as Messiah.  (One of them would very likely have been the fact that He was Jesus of Nazareth.)  The religious Jews were students of the Word, but the problem was that their approach to and conclusions about the Word were often flawed.  As much as we hate to admit it, Biblical Hermeneutics (interpretation) is an inaccurate art subject to the foibles of human depravity.  We can and we must regularly evaluate our interpretations of Scripture to be as accurate as possible.  (Part of doing that is being willing to consider the interpretations and ideas of those who have reached different conclusions than we.)


4.  The Fallen Human Condition - We all naturally have our "own way."  We all naturally gravitate toward untruth and error.  We all tend to live unexamined lives.  We all tend to be subject to inertia--both literal and figurative.  Simply put, the Pharisees and disciples were subject to the Fall of Man (just as we are) and, as such, they had the current of human depravity working against them (just as we do).  The good news is that God is in the business of redeeming humanity, and He has provided us with everything we need to know Him, to love Him, and to obtain and live His truth.


Building upon these foundational ideas, I believe that every Christian can and should embark on their own journey of evaluation and discovery.  Every Christian can embrace the spirit of the believers at Berea (Acts 17:10-12).  Every follower of Jesus should be on their own mission to find the genuine.


What are you waiting for?


(By the way, if you have never been to Morton's Steakhouse, you don't know what you're missing!  It is really, really good!)

You Don't Know What You're Missing, Part I

The following post is a summary of the introductory lesson I taught for a series I am presenting to a Young Marrieds Sunday School class this summer.  Hopefully I will articulate my ideas more clearly here than I did in the classroom.


I am a big fan of dramatic irony in literature and film.  Whether it's Peyton Farquhar from "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" or Henry Bemis from a classic episode of The Twilight Zone, I relish the ironic twist ending.


Perhaps this is one reason why I find the story recorded in Luke 23 (and the other Gospels) so compelling.  This passage recounts the familiar story of Pilate's interaction with the crowd on the day of Jesus' crucifixion:

Pilate then called together the chief priests and the rulers and the people and said to them, “You brought me this man as one who was misleading the people. And after examining him before you, behold, I did not find this man guilty of any of your charges against him.  Look, nothing deserving death has been done by him.  I will therefore punish and release him.” But they all cried out together, “Away with this man, and release to us Barabbas!”  Pilate addressed them once more, desiring to release Jesus, but they kept shouting, “Crucify, crucify him!” A third time he said to them, “Why, what evil has he done? I have found in him no guilt deserving death. I will therefore punish and release him.”  But they were urgent, demanding with loud cries that he should be crucified. And their voices prevailed.

If ever there was a sterling example of dramatic irony, this is it.  The key to recognizing it is to remember that the people demanding the execution of Jesus were not God-hating, Satan-worshipping pagans with a desire to plunge the world into a cesspool of debauchery and unspeakable evil.  On the contrary, the people shouting at Pilate that day were God-fearing, God-loving, and (ostensibly) God-pleasing religious devotees who desired more than anything to see God's name made great in the world.  The were the obsessively religious Jews that we refer to most generally as Pharisees, and the irony of the moment was that they were rejecting the very Messiah for whom they were all looking so earnestly.


How sad!  How tragic!  How...ironic!  These well-meaning folks made one of the most infamous mistakes in history, and the truly ironic part is that it could have been very easily avoided.  To say it tritely--they should have know better.  Of all the people living during the time of Christ, the Pharisees should have been first in line to recognize and honor Jesus as the Christ.  This is the one thing they should not have missed.  Perhaps some readers would come to their defense and say, "Well, it's easy for you to judge them because you have the advantage of looking back on their story.  Hindsight is always 20/20."  To that, I respond, "Yes, but they had the advantage of being thoroughly trained in the Old Testament prophecies.  They had the advantage of seeing the sign miracles in person.  They had the advantage of hearing Jesus brilliantly defend His Messiahship first hand." (See John 5 and Luke 11 for examples)  Disagree if you will, but I am convinced that these religious experts had more than sufficient evidence before them to prove the legitimacy of Jesus as the Christ. They could have and should have believed.  But...they didn't.  They dismissed Jesus as a fraud and a rabble-rouser.  Quite literally, they missed the very "finger of God" when it was right under their noses. (Luke 11:20)


Now, the point in making that point is simple--I believe there is a latent but solemn warning for us in the story of the Pharisees.  I personally believe that one of the reasons why the Pharisees appear so often in the story of the Gospel is because they are we...or we are they. (However you want to put it.)  That is--Pharisaism is not something that only first-century Jews were faced with.  It's not a Jewish problem.  It's a human problem.  Pharisaism is the default setting of the fallen human heart.  If that is true, then the irony of the Jews' case of mistaken identity with Jesus should not be lost on us.  If they could be so sincere and so well-meaning and yet miss something so critical, where does that leave us?  Well-meaning though we may be, the possibility of us missing key doctrines or ideas in our own time is very, very high.


The purpose of this post, the next post, and the Sunday School series I am currently teaching is two-fold--1) To learn what we can from the mistakes of the Pharisees so as not to repeat them, and 2) To open a dialogue in which we confront ourselves with this question, "What are we missing and where are we missing it as followers of Jesus?"  You see, the real problem for the Pharisees was that they didn't know what they were missing.  They had no idea that they were calling for the crucifixion of the real Messiah!  If they had realized the truth they were missing they would no doubt have reacted differently.  Unfortunately for them, however, they didn't realize it.  They were completely blind to their own misinformation and bad doctrine.  The problem with not knowing what you are missing is that you have no motivation to correct the situation.  Who goes looking for their keys, their purse, or the remote control before they realize these items are lost?  Nobody!  Only when the reality that you have misplaced one of these things dawns on your mind do you begin looking for them.  That reality will only dawn on your mind when you open your eyes, look around you, and recognize that something is missing.


So...that is what I am attempting to do in this two-part post, in my Sunday School class, in this blog, and in my life.  It is something that needs to be a regular exercise in Christianity on both a personal and corporate level.  We need to open our eyes, look around us, and ask ourselves, "Have we misplaced our keys?"


I will share with you how to start that process in the next segment...

Prisoner's Dilemma

One of the things that I find most interesting about teaching is the way that I can be teaching a lesson with my mouth while having a concurrent yet distinct line of thinking running in my brain.  Maybe other public speakers don't experience this, but I often find that my mind wanders during my lectures.  (I'll bet my students would say the same!)

Earlier today, I was taking a group of 8th graders through the story recorded in Matthew's Gospel, Chapter 11, verses 2-6 - Now when John heard in prison about the deeds of the Christ, he sent word by his disciples and said to him, “Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?”  And Jesus answered them, “Go and tell John what you hear and see.  The blind receive their sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up, and the poor have good news preached to them.  And blessed is the one who is not offended by me.” 

I have taught this particular story as a part of my 8th grade Bible class for the last 7 years.  As I was making my usual comments about it today, however, I began to think...really think about the details of the story and their implications.  I was struck in a new way by the absurdity of John's question and the austerity of Jesus' response.  I found the entire episode to by intriguing and challenging in a manner I hadn't experienced before.  This really is a rather revealing and thought-provoking story that Matthew is sharing.  Below, I have included some of my questions and ideas as they have been whirling in my head throughout the day.

1.  In most cases, there is much more going on in the lives of those with whom we interact each day than what we can see.  To do a topical study of the Gospels on the life of John the Baptist is to study a man who appears to be rock-solid in his commitment to God.  Time and time again, John responds correctly when faced with the opportunity to take glory or prestige for himself.  Time and time again, John gives unshakable witness to the true character of Jesus of Nazareth.  From casual observation, it's easy for us to conclude that John had his life and his heart in perfect order before Jehovah.  After all, this is the man who stood at the river's edge and shamelessly proclaimed, "This is the Lamb of God!"  To conclude this about John is a gross miscalculation.  Even a man of such spiritual stature as this was, at times, held captive as a prisoner of his own doubts and questions.  Granted, his stumble came after nearly a year and a half of unwarranted imprisonment at the hands of an immoral dictator.  I think, however, the point should be well taken.  Everyone, and I mean everyone has their demons.  Everyone has their moments of darkness--including those whom we hold in highest esteem as spiritual leaders.  Perhaps some will find this to be a bit of a jaded or cynical observation.  Some, perhaps, are resistant to the idea of frank honesty among Christians about our weaknesses.  I don't agree.  I believe honesty and transparency to be needful, healthy, and biblical (see James 5:16).  I don't think we ought to become cynical at all.  I do think, however, that we should bear firmly in mind as individuals cross our path each day that many, maybe most, (should I say all?) of those we meet are facing battles that we may never see or know about.  Casting Crowns begins their song "Stained Glass Masquerade" with the question, "Is there anyone that fails?  Is there anyone that falls?"  The answer is--Yes!

2.  The moment when God transgresses the boundaries of our expectations and beliefs is a critical moment in the journey of faith.  Of course, I am referring here to those times when God exceeds our expectations in a way that we perceive as negative, wrong, or unjust.  I read John's question in these verses, and I am taken aback at the absurdity of it.  "Are you the One?"  How could John even ask such a thing after all he had seen and heard and said?  It's almost offensive that he would even wonder!  Of all people, John the Baptist ought to have known with certainty that Jesus was the One!  I pose the question to my students each year--What caused John to doubt?  Although the Bible does not specifically give us the answer, I think we can safely conclude.  Jesus' ministry was, in some way, failing to meet John's expectations.  Maybe John thought that Jesus would take a more aggressive approach in ushering in the Kingdom or that Jesus would have been more politically active in opposition to the Romans or maybe even that Jesus would break him out of prison.  Whatever his expectations were, it seems obvious that they weren't being met.  As he sat alone in the darkness of his prison cell, John faced an unsettling dilemma--Will I continue in my belief that Jesus is the Christ even though things aren't unfolding the way I thought they would?  This was indeed a critical moment for John.  The fact is, we all have self-made boxes into which we put God and His dealings with us.  We expect Him to do or not do certain things based on our devotion to Him.  The plethora of Christian literature and other Christian media available today serves mostly to feed these pre-conceived yet often unbiblical notions about our Creator.  How unsettling it is, then, for us to discover that the gulf between our perceptions of God and the reality of God is deep and wide.  The Apostle Peter told us not to be surprised when faced with trials, suffering, and persecution.  All believers will, at some point, face their own prisoner's dilemma.  God is much bigger and, in a way, much scarier than we often give Him credit for.  What we do when faced with the reality of God is of utmost importance in our pilgrimage.  Speaking of that, here is my final observation...

3.  We must allow our understanding of God to be molded by the reality He presents us.  John and Jesus were cousins.  I've always imagined them to be close friends--even before either one of them became famous.  They had a unique relationship, I believe.  This wasn't just anyone asking the question, it was John.  Bearing this in mind, it is a bit surprising to read the terseness of Jesus' response.  He simply pointed to the fact this His ministry was indeed a fulfillment of Messianic prophecy.  He closed with a mild rebuke, "Blessed is the one who does not stumble over me." (That's my paraphrase.)  That's it.  There's nothing more.  No personal touch.  No apparent effort on Jesus part to soothe the fears or calm the doubts of His friend and fellow-servant.  He left John with the decision as to whether or not he would believe in spite of the darkness around his soul.  I think the lesson here is clear--those who come to God must do so by faith (Hebrews 11:6).  This faith, however, must conform to reality as God presents it.  He does not conform reality to meet the requirements of our faith.  Despite what the books and movies portray, things don't always get better.  Bodies and minds aren't always healed.  Miracles don't always occur at the last moment.  Good doesn't always win.  (At least, in the short term!)  When we are left reeling with confusion and doubt, God stands firm, confident, and unchanging, "Blessed is the one who does not stumble over me."  What a concept to think that we can stumble over God!  This can and does happen, however, when we are unwilling to relinquish the idols we have created in the name of Jehovah.  This austere perspective of God may be repugnant to you.  You may not like the image of Him that I'm painting in these lines.  This, my friend, is exactly my point.  These truths are just as much a part of God as are His love and grace.  God is a complex and multifaceted being.  We have to take Him for what He is, not just for what we want Him to be.  No one relishes the suffering.  No one enjoys the darkness of doubt and pain.  Yet, as Jon Foreman, in his song "The Cure for Pain", so aptly puts it, "It would be a lie to run away."

What choice did John make in the face of such a dilemma?  We are not given a direct answer.  Yet, based on Jesus' statements about John in the following verses (see Matthew 11:7-15), I believe that John chose correctly.  He chose to believe in spite of everything.  This was not blind faith, but genuine faith.  Faith that persisted in spite of the emotion of the moment.  This is the kind of faith each one of us must beg God  to build in our hearts so as to prepare us for our own moment in prison.

Yours, Mine, or Ours?

One of our human idiosyncrasies is the fact that we are very territorial.  This tendency is quite obvious to me as a parent of young children.  Children 6 and under have a very specific and complicated set of unwritten rules about possession and ownership.  Nowhere are these rules more evident than in the quintessential cry of the toddler, "THAT'S MINE!"

As we grow older, we leave many of the tendencies of childhood behind.  Our possessiveness, however, is not one of them.  Comedian Brian Regan touches on this in his routine about a child losing his balloon. (Look for it on YouTube if you haven't seen it.)  Adults have their own set of rules about possession and ownership.  We just have the tactfulness to refrain from saying "THAT'S MINE!" out loud--most of the time.

Christians are no exception to the previous comments.  I was thinking today about how possessive believers (including the one typing this) can be at times.  Here are a few examples for you to chew on:

1.  The United States of America - as election season heats up, you can almost hear the Christians of our country chanting, "THAT'S MINE!"  Any candidate who includes ideas about reclaiming America for God or restoring America to her Christian heritage is bound to receive enthusiastic support from the Religious Right.  There appears to be an underlying assumption in American Evangelicalism that this country is ours and that we need to win it back from the Left.  This assumption is most often predicated upon the idea that our nation was founded upon the Bible and Christian principles.  Even if this notion is granted (which I don't think it should be categorically), the fact is, our nation was constituted in such a way that we don't really have the basis for claiming the US for Christianity at the expense of other religions and beliefs.  Like it or not, the atheist has just as much a right to believe and share his faith as the Baptist.  The same could be said for a variety of lifestyles and religious persuasions.  I understand the desire to promote righteousness and absolute truth.  I just don't feel that the courtroom, the legislative chamber, or the public school classroom is the appropriate venue for doing so.  Even if the Religious Right is somehow able to reclaim this nation the way they want to (which is doubtful), I think they may find it in the long run to be a Pyrrhic victory.

2.  Churches - I am becoming more and more convinced that one of the most detrimental developments in the ongoing saga of the church is the idea of dedicated church facilities.  Whereas the earliest Christians probably met in homes, the ensuing centuries have brought about the idea of sanctuaries and church property.  Many a congregation has been guilty of shouting, "THAT'S MINE!" with regard to these facilities.  It's kind of funny if you think about it.  Most church buildings sit empty and idle for all but maybe 9 or 10 hours out of the 168 in a week.  Isn't there a more efficient approach to the stewardship of our buildings and possessions to be found?  Could many of our churches find ways to put their facilities to  use outside of the grid of the traditional ideas?  I think the answer here is, "Yes!"  Personally, I like the idea of churches having a Gymnatorium or Multi-Purpose Room over the idea of a Sanctuary.  I think it helps us keep the right perspective about our facilities (and it's more doctrinally accurate--I Peter 2:5).  I remember a friend of mine from seminary talking about starting a church in a building that could be used as a restaurant during the week.  He would pastor the church and run the restaurant.  Although many believers might scoff at such an idea, I think he just might be onto something.

3.  God - Believing in a Higher Being is something inherent to our human nature.  Cultures and people groups throughout history have developed their individual ideas about God and religion.  These ideas about the Divine are as diverse as those who hold to them.  Over the last several years, I have come to recognize that many Christians are very possessive about God and will vehemently proclaim, "THAT'S MINE!" when confronted with ideas outside of the scope of their beliefs about Him.  This possessiveness manifests itself in two ways.  It comes out in the way we relate to people of other religions and beliefs.  I feel compelled to say that I am not advocating a relativistic, "all-roads-lead-to-heaven," "it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you are sincere" approach.  I do believe there to be only one way, one truth, and one life.  Anything outside the scope of this truth is not valid, no matter how heartily it is believed.  This, however, does not mean we as Christians have the prerogative to take the beliefs of others lightly or dismiss them with a cavalier attitude.  Many Christians do not understand the beliefs of others or the comfort others take from their beliefs about God.  We are very possessive and even arrogant about "our God."  Handling this idea with balance is a tricky proposition, to be sure.  The other way our possessiveness about God reveals itself is in how we relate to others who live under the big umbrella of Christendom.  By this, I am simply referring to those who believe in the God of the Bible, but hold differing views about some of the specifics of His workings and His word.  Again, I am not saying that any belief or teaching that comes down the pike is valid.  Some ideas about God are non-negotiable and mutually exclusive to other opposing ideas.  Yet, the fact remains that so much of the disagreement between denominations and segments in Christianity relates to the non-essentials of the faith.  The territorial immaturity that comes out in these debates is, for the most part, useless and unhealthy.  The longer I live, the more I am coming to see that God is so much bigger than the boxes we have created for Him.

To conclude, I think believers would do well to loosen their grip and evaluate how their possessiveness may be hindering their ability to shine in the darkness.  When all is said and done, "The earth is the Lord's and everything in it!" (Psalm 24:1)

What If?

Have you ever played the "What if?" game with yourself?  You know, it's when you run different scenarios through your mind and try to figure out what the result would be if things were different.  Usually, we play this game (or put ourselves through this torture, as the case may be) when looking backward to the past.  We are particularly prone to do this when looking back on something negative such as a personal failure or tragedy.  We wonder things like, "What if I had gotten there 5 minutes later?" or "What if I had gotten that text message sooner?"  It's natural to do this, although I don't know that it is particularly healthy.

Lately, I have been playing the "What if?" game in the other direction.  I have been trying to figure out what the results would be in the future if things were different now.  Specifically, I have been pondering my Christian walk and my relationship to God and those around me.  As I have been growing in grace over the last months and years, I find myself wondering how our homes, our churches, our communities, our nation, and our world would be different if Christians thought differently and acted differently.  I am not claiming to know all of the problems and/or solutions of modern Christianity.  I am just wondering..."What if?"  Several ideas have come to mind.  Many of them are based on specific passages of scripture.  Some of them are just my own conjecture and theory.  All of them, at the very least, are interesting to think about and ponder...

So, I am going to do my best John Lennon impression and ask you to imagine.  Imagine what it would be like.  Imagine how our lives might be different.  Imagine how our impact on the world might increase.  Imagine how much more glory and honor God might receive. (It's easy if you try.)

What if...

We were truly convinced that God Himself is the highest and greatest good to which mankind can aspire?

We lived on a daily basis in full recognition of and appreciation for the finished work of Christ in our lives?

We viewed every person around us (friend or foe, believer or not) as a soul created by God in His image and infused with value and worth?

We allowed our brothers and sisters in Christ the freedom to be themselves in their walk with Christ?

We reached the conclusion that there are relatively few things in the scope of Christianity for which it is worth separating from other Christians?

We stopped trying to produce spiritual fruit (in ourselves or in others) through external, artificial means and started allowing Christ to live His life out through us?

We stopped viewing our nation as a battlefield to be conquered through political activism and radical separatism and started viewing it as a mission field to be lived in and exposed to the power of God's love in the Gospel?

We began to believe that every perfect gift is from God and that, for a Christian, there is no such thing as sacred or secular?

We stopped trying to define our spirituality in terms of all that we do or don't do?

We related to others the way God relates to us?

We all were honest with ourselves and others about how dark our hearts really are?

We truly understood that God views each Christian through the lens of Christ and that His love and acceptance for us are completely independent of our actions?

We came to accept that grace really is as good as it sounds?

What if?

Can you imagine?

The Benefit of the Doubt

I can remember swinging back and forth on the playground outside our church building as a boy. I must have been around 9 or 10 years old. I don't remember any other details of the context, but I can, to this day, remember very clearly pondering a sobering question. As far as I know, it was the first time in my short life that this thought penetrated my mind:

"What if the whole thing is just a story?"

The "whole thing" to which I was referring was the Gospel, the Bible, the story of Jesus, the very fabric of everything I had been taught about the truth up to that point.

"What if there is no god? What if there is no heaven or hell? What if it's all made up?"

I remember thinking those thoughts, and I remember feeling very small and scared.

Since that time nearly 2 decades ago, that question (along with countless others) have reverberated through my mind many times. I have always been fairly curious about life and the world around me. I have always loved encyclopedias, dictionaries, documentaries, and websites like howstuffworks.com In some cases, my inquisitiveness has not been a positive thing as it has gotten me into trouble. For the most part, however, I think my desire for knowledge has proved beneficial.

In the realm of spiritual truth and my relationship with God, I have gone through stages. Growing up in conservative Christianity, my early years were marked by a simple and genuine acceptance of all that I was taught. (Most of which, by the way, was accurate and Biblical.) During my teen years, I went through a period of several years in which I really struggled with doubt. My doubts related not so much to the validity of Christianity as they did to my own position in Christ. It took me several years to come to a confidence that I am a child of God. In my later teen and early college years, I went through a sort-of "preacher-boy" phase in which I was learning a lot about the Bible and was fairly confident that I had most of life's biggest questions figured out and could share those answers with anyone who would listen. During my Junior year of college, however, things began to change. I can't really point to one cataclysmic event in my life that modified my thinking. I just started...to wonder...and to question. As the years have progressed since my college graduation (both of them), I am finding that the more I know...the less I know. The ebb and flow of life has effectively stripped me of the arrogance of those early college years and replaced it with a sense of uncertainty and a sense of thirst...for answers. Although I still have confidence that I am a child of God, my opinions and convictions about many aspects of life, Christianity, and the Bible are in a period of fluctuation. At times, I even wrestle with that old question,

"What if the whole thing is just a story?"

In recent years, I have discovered (much to my surprise) that many of the Christians around me wrestle with the same questions and doubts that I do. I suppose this shouldn't be to my surprise, but it has been. The speakers, authors and musicians I find myself most drawn to these days are the ones who openly admit that they "don't have all the answers" and even verbalize some of their doubts and fears. For some reason, I find this vulnerability comforting. I find my patience growing rather thin with those who who constantly project an air of confidence and self-assurance. I find this attitude unsettling because I think it is disingenuous. Nobody has it all together all the time.

Now, our tendency might be to view all of this uncertainty as a bad thing. As Christians we tend to view doubt as a sign of weakness. While it is true that doubts and fears can become so monumental in our minds that they paralyze and debilitate us, I have reached the opinion that a healthy dose of doubt can actually be a good thing for a Christian. To borrow wording from the title of a book a friend of mine wrote, living with questions may not be such a bad thing after all.

Here are some reasons why...

1) Doubts and questions cause us to reevaluate our convictions. In preparation for a Sunday School class I am conducting on the Life of Christ, I have given much thought to the Pharisees recently. I am convinced that the root problem that caused these Jews (who were very much sincere in the love for God and their desire to please Him) to miss the very One for whom they were looking and waiting was simply a refusal to consider anything outside of their religious paradigm. In most cases, they refused to even examine their own beliefs and interpretations in order to determine their accuracy. They were a product of their heritage and their education, and they never looked beyond the confines of either one. Doubt that is not blindly extinguished can be beneficial because it can prompt us to be sure that our beliefs and interpretations are true to God's Word and change the ones that are not.

2) Doubts and questions cause us to be more gracious and empathetic to those around us. Those who've "got it all together" often find it difficult to understand how someone else does not. In the same way that a parent might find their child's fear of the dark or the boogieman irrational and foolish, a doubtless Christian can view a fellow believer's questions as petty, simplistic, or even indicative of major spiritual problems. On the other hand, when you have or are wrestling with doubts of your own, you are much more likely to understand the uncertainty for what it really is--the natural product of living as an individual in a vast and complex universe. In the same way, a Christian who understands doubt and lack of conviction will find it much easier to relate to and dialogue with an unbeliever who is working through their questions.

3) Doubts and questions remind us that our Christianity is faith-based. When you get right down to it, the whole thing just might be a story. We as Christians might be wrong. As much as we might want to think that we can prove our faith, we cannot. The reason for this is obvious. Our faith is just that...it's faith. Faith is the conviction about things unseen. God has chosen to reveal Himself, but He has done it in such a way that there is room for uncertainty. I am a Christian because I have chosen to believe the set of propositions about reality and eternity that Christianity provides. My faith is as strong as that on which it rests. (For the record, I feel that it rests on sure footing.) If, however, those propositions are wrong...then I am wrong as well. Those nagging doubts, those unanswered questions, those enigmatic portions of scripture--they all serve as a powerful reminder that those who come to God must do so by faith. Some might see this as a sign of weakness and unreliability. I see it as evidence that our relationship with the Father is not a safe, calculated, and confined ritual, but a grand adventure that scares us, comforts us, and fascinates all at once.

So...if you find yourself staring out at the night sky and asking some of those big questions. If you look in the mirror and your uncertainty is staring starkly back at you. Do yourself a favor. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt.

Gotta Give?

I have been thinking on and off over the last several months about Christian giving. For some reason, the subject has come up on several different occasions recently.

It started a few months back when I was covering II Corinthians with my 11th and 12th Grade Bible class. Using chapter 9, verse 7 as my basis, I made the statement to the group of 24 teenagers that I do not believe that tithing (in its truest sense of giving 10%) is required of New Testament believers. I told them that, as far as I could tell, the primary requirement for NT giving is a willing heart. This was a novel idea to many of them and several were quite skeptical of this strange, new doctrine. One student in particular talked with me personally on several occasions with questions about my view. Apparently, he had mentioned our class discussion to one of his mentors who did not agree with my estimation of the Biblical teaching about giving. As I always try to do when confronted about a particular point of my belief system, I spent the next several days re-evaluating my position.

From there, it seems that giving (and the larger discussion of stewardship) has come around for discussion and meditation again and again. Our Sunday School class talked about it last week. I jumped into a Facebook thread about giving the week before. Even today, I found myself thinking about these ideas as I shoveled 14 inches of snow off of my driveway.

As you might have guessed, I have a few questions and opinions about this important topic.

Question 1 - "Why do so many Christians accept the axiom that believers are required by God to tithe?"

In the minds of many, questioning whether believers must tithe is akin to questioning whether the earth is round. "What do you mean?" they exclaim, "Of course we have to tithe! That's what committed Christians do! After all, it's in the Bible." I concur that many committed Christians do give at least 10% of their income. (We won't go into the question of whether we must figure 10% of the gross or net income.) I also agree that tithing is in the Bible. My questions relate to whether God requires those Christians to give their 10% and where in the Bible tithing is found. From what I have been able to find (thanks to my handy-dandy new Logos Bible Software), tithing is an old covenant (aka-Old Testament) stipulation. Even when tithing is mentioned in the NT books, I have been unable to find any context where it is levied as an expectation upon the church. What I find instead is wording such as the following, "Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." I find no mention of 10% here. Is that a reasonable amount for most Christians to give regularly? How would I know? It seems like it is, but the only financial situation I am familiar with is my own...and that's none of your business! (Insert smiley emoticon here.)

Question 2 - "How do we determine what qualifies as giving to God?"

I use a financial software program on my laptop that helps me keep track of our money. One of the line items in my checking account is called "Giving to God." (I gave it this moniker.) Sometimes, I wonder to myself, "Should the money from that fund be given exclusively to my church or another 'ministry'? Can I or should I use that money for other non-church-ifed giving? For instance, on a recent lunch excursion to Olive Garden with my family, I decided to give my server a rather substantial tip. (That is--substantial in terms of percentage.) I did this because she was extremely helpful in the service of our meal. I also did this because she mentioned that she had just graduated from college and had only recently gotten a job after an extended time of looking. I felt as though I might encourage and help her in a small way by increasing the amount of her gratuity. "Nothin' wrong with that," you say. I agree. My question is, does this "count" as giving to God? Should I pull the money for that tip from the aforementioned line in my budget? (I will let you, the reader, guess as to whether I did or not.) What about donations made to the Red Cross, Meals-on-Wheels, or other such charitable organizations? If I give my money in a spirit of gratitude and worship, does the Almighty view my donations as gifts to Him? I know what I think, but I wonder how other believers feel?

Question 3 - "Is it wise to view our giving and our stewardship as Christians in terms of investments and returns?"

Mutual funds, investments, 401(k)s, and day-trading seem to be all the rage these days. (Thanks in part to those silly E-Trade babies!) It seems that this "Charles Schwab" mentality has crept into our thinking as Christians. We want to give, but we only want to give to people or organizations that are "safe." Our churches have food pantries, but the resources therein are only available to church members or individuals who agree to come to church first. (In truth, I have been pondering much of the typical church philosophy regarding resources, and I have several questions about this area.) We may give our money to help the poor and underprivileged, but only if we can guarantee that the funds are used "wisely." A corollary of the "investment mindset" is the idea that the more we give the more we will get in return. Truthfully, the Bible does talk on several occasions about reaping bountifully when we give bountifully. Do you think this implies only physical, material reaping? I am not so sure. There's no doubt that God wants us to be wise stewards with all that He has given us. I know I still need to do some searching on this particular question, but I just can't help feeling like many Christians (including the one writing this post) and churches are sitting on their nest eggs and missing incredible opportunities to serve others through cheerful, open-hearted giving--even to those who don't necessarily deserve it.

For the record, I do believe Christians should be giving regularly. I also believe that believers bear the responsibility of meeting the needs of those who labor in the Word as the elders of the church. Beyond that, however, I wonder if maybe our giving (and the motives driving it) may need re-examination and refinement. I, for one, will continue to seek God's guidance in this important area.